We don't have T.V. channels at our house, but I have had the opportunity, on more than one occasion, to watch portions of a T.V. show in which a man tries to make his way in the wild. This man fascinates me - and I feel compelled to watch him despite the increasingly disgusting ways he tries to survive certain predicaments. In the only 1 or 2 episodes I've seen, I've been able to observe him do a range of things from sleeping inside the carcass of a dead camel for shelter to eating goat testicles. Now, this man is, by conservative estimation, a little "off". I always picture his camera crew sitting back eating finger sandwiches and drinking Dasani as they watch him drink his own urine to survive a few days in the Kalahari. I still get the feeling that those goatherds were lying about whether or not eating the testicles actually meant he was "one of them". I couldn't help feeling a little sorry for him as he exclaimed (shortly before vomiting the testicles back up behind a tree) how excited he was that he was actually being accepted into such an exclusive tribe. Whether or not he has a camera crew, he has obviously seen that his antics in the wilds are not a necessary part of daily life in this modern world. So why choose such an "interesting" lifestyle?
Last weekend, and very close to my birthday, my husband purchased a used 4-wheeler for us to drive around our area. (This, after I was hoping for a new computer.) After he explained to me how much fun it would be for me to drive this beast around to get away from the house for a few moments here and there and collect my sanity, if need be, it sounded like a better and better idea. Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. We live near a small creek called Pine Creek. I decided I would drive my older two daughters down to the creek in order to explore it together. I dropped the girls off near the bridge, and turned the vehicle around to park it. As I got off and came toward the girls, I noticed that, like most children would, they were throwing rocks off the bridge and into the creek. As Claire threw a large handful of limestone gravel/dust into the air, the rather brisk wind of that day picked it up and propelled it into my eyeballs. It would seem that when gravel dust and eyeball moisture combine they create a sort of impenetrable paste that defies further description. BLINDNESS. I couldn't see a thing. Had I been close to the house, I would have had one of the girls lead me to a clean water source to try to irrigate my eye. Had I been "survivormom", I would have taken off my shoe and urinated into it in order to make some sort of homemade irrigation device to flush the gravel from my eyes. As it was, I just tried to manage blindness, over a mile from home, on top of a bridge.
So it turns out that, since I'm "fearfully and wonderfully made", my eyes knew what to do to get rid of most of the gravel/dust. People often ask me how I keep a positive attitude throughout the days of motherhood that are often filled with trials, embarrassments, and annoyances. I can't help thinking back to that man in the wild. I think it helps to be a little bit "off" when facing circumstances that are beyond my control. When it comes to parenting and losing some of my sanity, I'm not sure which came first - kind of a "chicken and the egg" question I sometimes ask myself. But I imagine that they may have continued perpetuating one another in much the same manner. Survivormom just ends up evolving somehow out of that woman who used to wear a pantsuit to work and have every hair in just the right place. In Matthew 16:25, Jesus said, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." I think this principle has applied to my illusion of control over my own circumstances in a way... if I tried to hold onto control too tightly, I would likely lose it, but as I relax and let God direct my days, I find peace through acceptance of my own loss of "control". When properly applied, this helps relieve everyone in our house from having to measure up to my standard of how they should be acting. Sometimes chaos ensues, but I have "more grace" to handle it.
I once read a phrase that was applied to being married to a certain type of man, but I think that it applies maybe more aptly to parenting. To be a mom, one must be "just a little bit reckless and blind in one eye if she is going to enjoy the ride". Well, I guess I can just thank my kids for the "blind in one eye" portion. Although, blind in both eyes can make it difficult to drive everyone back home safely. Mom Vs. Wild, Man Vs. Wild... we both are happier being "just a little bit reckless and blind in one eye". Mom - what an interesting lifestyle!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
How Involved Is God?
Micromanager? Macromanager? Somewhere in between? Well... do events in the past have any more historical significance than what happens today? It would appear that in the past God had plenty to do with the events that shaped the destiny of people. Every person had a destiny, and each one was subject to God's sovereign will... at least at some level. Was sending His Son, Jesus, the only or last time God intervened in human affairs? If the Bible is any indication (for Christians it's the ONLY indication), certainly not. If Revelation is the prophetic book it claims to be (Revelation 22:19), then God will continue to be intimately involved in human affairs until the end of time.
Joseph was sold into slavery by ambivalent brothers, and he ended up being given the ability to interpret dreams which ultimately ended in the second highest leadership position in Egypt. This ultimately ended in his being present to save his family from starvation during a famine. He never believed that God was uninvolved in what was happening to him - despite the fact that he continued to be faced with difficult circumstances.
Daniel and his friends believed that God was involved enough to save them out of a blazing furnace. In fact, He came down and had fellowship with them in that furnace. If He had just set earth spinning, why would He do such a thing?
The genealogy of Christ Himself was determined through the line of David and included Ruth and Rahab - results of God's involvement in the destiny of mankind throughout the Old Testament. God impregnated Mary - I doubt if there is any more intimate involvement possible with a human. Not only did God impregnate her, but he sent her and Joseph both comfort by means of an angelic visit to ease their fears. Was this necessary? No.
Maybe it could be reasoned that these Bible stories are just stories, and that I am naive to believe them, but that's all the Bible really is - a series of stories - anecdotes? If I can't believe all of them, I won't believe any of them, because where does the skepticism end, and who determines where that point is? If I believe that Jonah and the fish is just a story, then why not the immaculate conception? It's just as implausible and just a few pages over in the Bible.
John 15, in the Vine and the Branches analogy that Jesus Himself gave, he said the words "apart from me, you can do nothing". (John 15:5) That doesn't sound like the speech of a God who strives to be marginally involved. It would be cruel for Him to go so far as to say that we need Him for everything - in this case bearing fruit that he calls for us to do as proof of our salvation - and yet to fail to do the enabling He promised.
If I could name one of my most consistent private faith struggles, it would be this: How can there be a "the Lord our God, the Lord is One" (Deut. 6:4 and Mark 12:29) who has given us "one spirit" (1Cor. 12:13, Eph. 2:18, Phil. 1:27), yet there is so much conflict amongst Christians and so much debate over who God really is? One "born again" person believes whole-heartedly that God is largely uninvolved, while the "born again" person next to him believes just as steadfastly that God is deeply involved in each of his/her days. I can only conclude that "One God" is either one or the other (apathetic or embroiled) ... not both at once. This sometimes, I am loath to admit, causes me to doubt the very existence of God. I have to remind myself, however, that these things are man's definitions of God - not the actual "who" of Him. The only way I can figure out the actual WHO is to pursue Him with all that is in me. (Jer. 29:13)
What I learn of God through Scripture is that He is not the God of "halfway". He isn't marginally concerned. I need only look at the albeit tainted creation around me to recognize that God doesn't undertake any project in a haphazard way. I acknowledge that persons can relate to God in different ways, and I believe each of us must in fact relate to God in a way that is just as unique to us as the way we have been created. There is no formula to a person's relationship with God. But I have yet to understand WHY I (or anyone) would ever want anything but a deep relationship with a Savior. Doesn't the word "Savior" imbue passionate gratitude? I needed to be pulled from the jaws of eternal death, and my Savior did it, yet I would choose a largely impersonal relationship from that point forward? I was loved by that Savior, not just by words, but with an ACT - in a way that I could only ever hope to be loved by anyone else on the planet, and yet I would choose to believe that's where His involvement ended? My passionate nature is sickened by the idea.
The only way I can imagine accepting such a ho-hum idea of the savior/saved relationship is if the impact of the savior's sacrifice was lost on me... if I thought that somehow I was capable of saving myself. If I fool myself into thinking that I would have somehow gotten out of the "pickle" I was in without the help of a savior, I could easily dismiss my need of that savior... and therefore the obligation of relationship to him.
Most Christians believe that the atheist seeks to have control over his/her own life by claiming the nonexistence of God. However, I would go so far as to say that one who claims that God set the world in motion and backed off involvement seeks to do the same thing by a different method... saying that, "God left me on my own. Therefore, I am less responsible to Him for my actions. "
Darkness is only absence of light? Cold is only absence of heat? Sin/death is absence of God? Scripture is the method God chose to use to reveal His character and the way He relates to us. Yet I can't find a single event in Scripture (even in sinful times) in which God proves absent. I believe that many/most tragedies are a result of a fallen world (which God also allowed). But what about joys? Every good and perfect gift is from the Lord. (family, friends, work, food, shelter, clothes, etc. - James 1:16-18) Apart from God, the earth would cease to exist. Hebrews 1:3 says he "sustains all things by the power of His word." Every animated thing man has ever made requires a power source... a battery, electricity. What about the animated things God has made? Animals, man? What is our power source? From where did we get our ability to "go"?
He alone sustains our life and does it or ceases to do it each moment.
Romans 9 talks of God's sovereignty and Exodus 33:19 goes so far as to say that it is God's prerogative to show mercy and compassion or to not show it. Yet we have the audacity to believe that we can choose better than He, or that we can cast judgment upon the decisions He has made?
Philipians 1:6 says that He started working on me, and that He will continue to do that until Christ's return. One thing I know... I need A LOT of work. I believe that - at least in me - it won't be accomplished without His daily involvement in my life. I am on board with that. I want nothing less than His deep care and involvement in my life. I am surrendered, by His grace, to whatever level His sovereignty takes. For me, that's the best place I can be - just accepting of whatever level of involvement He wants to have with me. He walked with Adam in the "cool of the day". I hope that He wants that kind of companionship with me too. I'm confident that He does.
Joseph was sold into slavery by ambivalent brothers, and he ended up being given the ability to interpret dreams which ultimately ended in the second highest leadership position in Egypt. This ultimately ended in his being present to save his family from starvation during a famine. He never believed that God was uninvolved in what was happening to him - despite the fact that he continued to be faced with difficult circumstances.
Daniel and his friends believed that God was involved enough to save them out of a blazing furnace. In fact, He came down and had fellowship with them in that furnace. If He had just set earth spinning, why would He do such a thing?
The genealogy of Christ Himself was determined through the line of David and included Ruth and Rahab - results of God's involvement in the destiny of mankind throughout the Old Testament. God impregnated Mary - I doubt if there is any more intimate involvement possible with a human. Not only did God impregnate her, but he sent her and Joseph both comfort by means of an angelic visit to ease their fears. Was this necessary? No.
Maybe it could be reasoned that these Bible stories are just stories, and that I am naive to believe them, but that's all the Bible really is - a series of stories - anecdotes? If I can't believe all of them, I won't believe any of them, because where does the skepticism end, and who determines where that point is? If I believe that Jonah and the fish is just a story, then why not the immaculate conception? It's just as implausible and just a few pages over in the Bible.
John 15, in the Vine and the Branches analogy that Jesus Himself gave, he said the words "apart from me, you can do nothing". (John 15:5) That doesn't sound like the speech of a God who strives to be marginally involved. It would be cruel for Him to go so far as to say that we need Him for everything - in this case bearing fruit that he calls for us to do as proof of our salvation - and yet to fail to do the enabling He promised.
If I could name one of my most consistent private faith struggles, it would be this: How can there be a "the Lord our God, the Lord is One" (Deut. 6:4 and Mark 12:29) who has given us "one spirit" (1Cor. 12:13, Eph. 2:18, Phil. 1:27), yet there is so much conflict amongst Christians and so much debate over who God really is? One "born again" person believes whole-heartedly that God is largely uninvolved, while the "born again" person next to him believes just as steadfastly that God is deeply involved in each of his/her days. I can only conclude that "One God" is either one or the other (apathetic or embroiled) ... not both at once. This sometimes, I am loath to admit, causes me to doubt the very existence of God. I have to remind myself, however, that these things are man's definitions of God - not the actual "who" of Him. The only way I can figure out the actual WHO is to pursue Him with all that is in me. (Jer. 29:13)
What I learn of God through Scripture is that He is not the God of "halfway". He isn't marginally concerned. I need only look at the albeit tainted creation around me to recognize that God doesn't undertake any project in a haphazard way. I acknowledge that persons can relate to God in different ways, and I believe each of us must in fact relate to God in a way that is just as unique to us as the way we have been created. There is no formula to a person's relationship with God. But I have yet to understand WHY I (or anyone) would ever want anything but a deep relationship with a Savior. Doesn't the word "Savior" imbue passionate gratitude? I needed to be pulled from the jaws of eternal death, and my Savior did it, yet I would choose a largely impersonal relationship from that point forward? I was loved by that Savior, not just by words, but with an ACT - in a way that I could only ever hope to be loved by anyone else on the planet, and yet I would choose to believe that's where His involvement ended? My passionate nature is sickened by the idea.
The only way I can imagine accepting such a ho-hum idea of the savior/saved relationship is if the impact of the savior's sacrifice was lost on me... if I thought that somehow I was capable of saving myself. If I fool myself into thinking that I would have somehow gotten out of the "pickle" I was in without the help of a savior, I could easily dismiss my need of that savior... and therefore the obligation of relationship to him.
Most Christians believe that the atheist seeks to have control over his/her own life by claiming the nonexistence of God. However, I would go so far as to say that one who claims that God set the world in motion and backed off involvement seeks to do the same thing by a different method... saying that, "God left me on my own. Therefore, I am less responsible to Him for my actions. "
Darkness is only absence of light? Cold is only absence of heat? Sin/death is absence of God? Scripture is the method God chose to use to reveal His character and the way He relates to us. Yet I can't find a single event in Scripture (even in sinful times) in which God proves absent. I believe that many/most tragedies are a result of a fallen world (which God also allowed). But what about joys? Every good and perfect gift is from the Lord. (family, friends, work, food, shelter, clothes, etc. - James 1:16-18) Apart from God, the earth would cease to exist. Hebrews 1:3 says he "sustains all things by the power of His word." Every animated thing man has ever made requires a power source... a battery, electricity. What about the animated things God has made? Animals, man? What is our power source? From where did we get our ability to "go"?
He alone sustains our life and does it or ceases to do it each moment.
Romans 9 talks of God's sovereignty and Exodus 33:19 goes so far as to say that it is God's prerogative to show mercy and compassion or to not show it. Yet we have the audacity to believe that we can choose better than He, or that we can cast judgment upon the decisions He has made?
Philipians 1:6 says that He started working on me, and that He will continue to do that until Christ's return. One thing I know... I need A LOT of work. I believe that - at least in me - it won't be accomplished without His daily involvement in my life. I am on board with that. I want nothing less than His deep care and involvement in my life. I am surrendered, by His grace, to whatever level His sovereignty takes. For me, that's the best place I can be - just accepting of whatever level of involvement He wants to have with me. He walked with Adam in the "cool of the day". I hope that He wants that kind of companionship with me too. I'm confident that He does.
Did you ever notice that the greatest love stories have a damsel in distress, a hero, and a villain? What if there was no distress? What if no villain? Just a damsel and a hero. He says, "I love you." She says, "Yeah, me too." They get married and live "happily ever after". It doesn't have the same appeal, if you ask me. If you think about it, your favorite love story is bound to have two people - kept apart for one reason or another (class, family expectations, circumstances, etc.). Hero has to prove his love for damsel by sacrificing something GREAT (sometimes risking his own life) in order to get her back. That's the Bible. That's what God put within us. It's built-into our design. Our desire for unconditional love and rescue (if we're a woman) or to be a hero (if we're a man) starts as early as we can remember (for most of us) and, although we may lose hope and give up on those feelings along the way, we can be sure that those deep desires didn't evolve from our ape ancestors, instead given as a gift from our loving Creator. We can be equally as sure that they can't be solved by finding the perfect human to meet those needs. People were never meant to meet a need that God created.
The knowledge of the truth is written on your heart but suppressed by the part within you that doesn't want to submit to what we believe may be a constrictive religion or a tyrant God. Romans 1:19-20 says, "...what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
I'm going to close this blog with the lyrics of a song I heard yesterday by an artist named Jason Gray. The song is called "More Like Falling in Love". It's a beautiful song, and it says it all so well.
Give me rules
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It ought to be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love
Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be
CHORUS
...It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made
Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It ought to be
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love
Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free
It's gotta be
CHORUS
...It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made
Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Someday My Prince Will Come
Psalm 68:6a - "God sets the lonely in families..."
Some of you know how our family came to be. Some of you do not. Most likely, there are portions and details most of you do not know, but I tell you right now, there has been no greater miracle in my life than the one that unfolds each day in our home. And it's not for the reason you may think.
Many people have said things to me along the lines of, "Well, things were just so bad in your first marriages, and God finally blessed you and Mark with each other," or, "You finally both got what you deserved." While such sentiments are romantic and heartfelt, they miss the tragedy that is broken marriage. For ourselves, our children, and our posterity, these things are not as neatly swept under the rug. We live with the consequences of our immature, selfish, and sinful decisions daily and will live with them for the rest of our lives. These things are especially likely to come back to haunt us at the most inopportune times - times that should be the most celebrated and special: birthdays, holidays, vacations, and weddings. Because divorce has become so commonplace, this is taken as part of life for so many, but it is not the life we wanted - or want even now.
Detailed histories can muddy the waters, but Mark and I were both married to other people at age 19. His marriage lasted 3 years and produced a sweet baby boy - Austin, who was 3 at the time of his divorce. Mine lasted 7 1/2 years and produced 2 sweet baby girls - Sadie and Claire, who were 3 and 1 at the time of our divorce. Mark and I were not, nor are we sainted people, and it was as much our own faults that our marriages ended as it was the faults of those to whom we were married.
Mark and I handled our divorces quite differently. I have rarely been as sensible and cautious as I am romantic and impetuous. I saw my singleness as a problem that needed an answer. What I missed was that my singleness was actually a solution that God gave me and would lead me to the only truth that could set me free. The truth was this: We all have the same desire - need even - to be loved and accepted truly and unconditionally and to do the same in return. This desire isn't the cruel hoax that most cynical "former romantics" think it is. It is our very life, and it was put there by the only One who was ever meant to fulfill it, and HE is "able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." - Eph. 3:20
But I didn't believe those things about God. I said I believed them, but I didn't really believe them. So I dove headlong into solving my "problem", knowing that I was headed for a dead-end, but at the same time believing I deserved one - almost inviting one. I started my on-line dating odyssey, and it was a mess. I love people, and I "met" (most times never literally) more new people during that time than maybe ever before in such a short time period, and I have stories from that awful time that range from hilarious to ridiculous to heart-warming, gut-wrenching, to just plain ugly. My family and friends watched this train wreck, loving me through it - which still amazes me.
My mom asked me to go to Divorce Recovery classes... mmm... sounded like fun. She knew what I needed, and I did it - hoping still in the back of my mind to meet someone who could solve my "problem". I met the most amazing group of women (and a few men) who met weekly for encouragement, truth, tears, and laughter. I finally started to see that God was the answer, and I "knew" how God worked, after all. I needed to get close to Him and get that over with so I could get a husband. Right? I started reading a book called "Falling in Love with Jesus". It's written by a woman who has been chronically single. Oh, how I hated that prospect. I knew that just by reading it I would be horribly stricken with the same malady - aloneness. At the same time, I was trying to mentally prepare for it. All of this while facing first weekends without my girls - eating large amounts of pizza by myself on Saturday night in front of T.V. while romanticizing friends sitting by crackling fires with their loved ones near. (If only I had allowed my imagination to conjure up as many wonderful things for myself as I did for other people during those times, I would doubtless have enjoyed myself much more.)
I was hearing of the idea that God could fill the role of husband in my life. Really? After getting over the obvious mental hurdles involved there, I decided to start taking Him up on the "notion". I am terribly forgetful - to the point of humiliation, and you would think that acute embarrassment and regular inconvenience would be a suitable teacher. However, for me, it is not. I used to ask my husband to remind me of appointments, obligations, etc. Sometimes he did, sometimes not. So I prayed, "God, if you can be my husband, remind me to do - fillintheblank." Never did God forget to remind me in that still, small voice - right down to "Honey, don't forget the spoon for your dish to pass." Okay, so He can remind me of things - maybe that's a coincidence - maybe I'm a new, remembering me.
Next test... "man jobs". Along with my forgetfulness, locking the doors, in our many times questionable neighborhood was a job I left to my husband. I went to high school with a guy who is now a police officer. One night at 3:33 in the morning, I heard a knock at the door. After rousing from my extreme sleep stupor, I made my way to the door only to see a police officer facing away from me. My immediate thought was, "Oh, no! What did I do?? Is this about the cuticles scissors I tried to smuggle onto the airplane?" I could see he was on his shoulder radio, but I didn't see his face. He had been knocking, but had quit. So I knocked back very quietly. He turned around and said, "Marcie?!" Ah... I knew that face, thank the Lord! He explained that he needed to come in, and I let him in. He said, "Do you know that your garage door and both house doors are all unlocked?? I've been driving by about every night and checking on you guys, and I saw the garage door, and I came and checked, and all of your doors are unlocked. What are you thinking?" I wasn't thinking much at 3:33 AM to be honest, but he proceeded to check the house upstairs and down, and said to me, "You scared me! I was calling for backup and was about two minutes from entering your house with about 3 other officers." The thought of him and 3 other police officers entering my house and finding me in my PJ's at 3:33 AM proved motivation enough for me to ask God's future help remembering one more thing - door locking.
More "man jobs"... I had usually mowed our lawn, much to my chagrin, and done some of the minor repairs necessary on our vehicles. I had always considered these "man jobs", as my dad had usually done them as I grew up. Enter two more friends - a man from church who mowed lawns as a side job said he was over in our neighborhood one day a week and would pick up the lawn mowing for me, as it was difficult for me to find a sitter to mow the lawn. I didn't ask or mention to anyone the need for that, and he did it for free. Another man from church and his wife invited me and the girls to come over once every couple months and have dinner while he checked my car out and changed the oil. Man jobs accomplished.
Oh, and the dead bird... I was driving to Divorce Recovery one day, and hit a poor sparrow with my van. It slid up the hood and got lodged, ever so grotesquely, in my windshield wiper. I tried to run the wipers at speeds that would have worked for every type of rain from sprinkle to FLOOD - on this bright, sunny day to dislodge the broken bird, but it was the staying type. I continued to try the wipers as I headed first to pick up my friend Laura. I remembered that her subdivision had MANY little kids playing outside all of the time. I thought, "Surely one of these kiddos will find this dead thing fascinating and want to remove it for me." I pulled into her neighborhood to find bikes laying all around the yards - but not one child. Ugh... the idea of further embarrassment - driving to class with the dead bird attached to my already not-cool van - proved to be more than I was willing to bear. As we were about to leave for class, I was about to take matters into my own hands - somehow - until I remembered, "God? You can be my husband, right? Please remove this bird." As if on cue, a cloud opened up right above me, and the rain started to sprinkle on my van. I thought, "I've tried this wiper thing about 100 times today - hasn't worked." In my stubbornness, I waited until I couldn't see out my windshield from the rain. I turned my windshield wiper on once. The bird sailed across the windshield as it had before but this time it landed with a thud on the ground to the left of my van. The rain promptly ceased, and the night was as beautiful as a summer night could be.
I have as many stories about finances as you can imagine, but an interesting thing happened... I had quit my job when Sadie was born, and I was unemployed at the time of the divorce. The divorce was not particularly amicable, and I knew I was likely to end up with very little on which to live. I just prayed, knowing that Proverbs 21:1 says that God can change the hearts of kings. Then I knew He could change the heart of my husband. When we were discussing details about the divorce, my husband at the time - decided at the last minute to voluntarily give me and the girls $1,000 every two weeks to live on, in addition to the required child support. He also gave me his full interest in the house we had built together. I was offered a part time job at a ministry that allowed me to be home during the days with my children, and I have stories of amazing people who gave me gifts of money at perfect times when I needed it. I was the only woman in a divorce group of 70 who was receiving "maintenance" payments. I could just smile - knowing Who was providing for me.
Gifts? Love notes? He wrote The Book. Every night I spent time in His Word, there were love notes to me. If I had a specific need, concern, or hurt - He always addressed it perfectly with the turn of a page. But wait... I like gifts I can put my hands on. I went out to my mailbox almost every week (forgetful, remember?), and nearly every time I went, there was an anonymous note in my mail - beautifully written calligraphy - every word precious to me. I received cards and letters - sometimes anonymous, sometimes not, but every one a gift. As that first official divorced Christmas approached, the loneliness loomed heavily. The girls were scheduled to be with their dad, and that left me for the first time in my life with no one home on Christmas Eve and Day. "Santa" wouldn't visit our house this year. As sickness twisted my stomach, I trudged home from work Christmas Eve to find my Christmas tree almost obscured by a stack of beautifully wrapped gifts - 12 deep - under our tree - each one with my name on it and each one anonymous. The writing of it still brings tears to my eyes... as I savored the moment of unwrapping each one with my "Husband". I can't tell you to this day, the names of those involved in that act of kindness, although I have some hunches. But I know Who really orchestrated it.
Fast forward to the idea of asking God for what we want in a spouse - and actually expecting to receive it. My mom asked me if I could have everything I wanted, what would it look like. I said, "Strong Christian, over six foot tall, farmer who doesn't farm anymore (ie. good work ethic, strong, steady), wears carrharts and work boots to work, close-knit family like ours, someone who has kid(s) or wants them..." Needless to say, I was as specific with criteria for my second chance as I had been vague about the criteria for my first. I didn't expect this exactly, but a few months later, I got an e-mail from this guy:
His profile pictures he took himself - one of them was of him in his carrhart overalls after work. This picture of him on his parents' farmhouse that he was renting from them at the time. I thought, oh... how sweet. I never thought we would be married less than a year later. He wrote me about his son. He wrote that he had just gotten his computer and didn't know how all of this worked yet, but that he wanted to hear about me and was anxious to hear back. I wrote back a courteous response, and we talked a little via e-mail once in awhile in fall of 2005. When he asked if we could talk on the phone, I put it off for awhile. Eventually, I gave him my phone number, and we talked... or should I say, I talked. His part mostly consisted of long, what I considered to be awkward silences. I've since learned that to Mark, there is no such thing as an "awkward silence" (which, by the way, comes in handy when dealing with used car salesmen). I did, however, glean that he was an electrician. He had hoped to farm with his dad, but his dad had retired from farming, and he had found a different line of work. He was about 6'4" (or so his profile stated) and had been at the same job since college. All of these things... I still had no thought that he could be the man God had planned for me.
The girls and I went on a vacation to Florida with my parents in November. I spent most of the time there avoiding Mark's calls in favor of others who were easier to talk to, and my parents were annoyed that I wouldn't answer, but I found it exhausting to talk to Mark. He was nothing if not persistent. In December, I had really started to become interested in someone else, and Mark continued to call. He finally asked if we could meet one time and see if there as any connection at all. I said no until finally, toward the end of December, I said we could meet in January one time. The same day Mark and I agreed to meet, the other man I liked and I both agreed that we were not at a good place for dating, and I realized that I should not be dating at all. I knew that I was not ready and had been forcing it. I felt God must be telling me to back off and let Him work on me for awhile - maybe forever - before I was ready for another relationship. All that afternoon/evening, I cried and surrendered the idea that I needed anyone else at all. I dreaded meeting Mark that night because of my new decision, but had figured all along that we were already a dead end. I just went with the "let's get this over" attitude.
I arrived at Candlelight in a hoodie, jeans, and blue and yellow tennis shoes - swollen and without makeup from crying all day. After a smile and a brief hug, we were led to our table where I tried painfully to make small talk. Sure this was going nowhere, I finally said, "So how do you feel about roller skating?" He replied, "Why do I feel like if I tell you I like roller skating you're going to want to go right now?" I said something along the lines of, "Look, I'm just trying to make conversation here." He slowly responded, "Well, I'd go roller skating with you, but I'd probably fall down a lot, and that wouldn't be very manly." I said, "Well, I think that is more manly than those guys who twinkle-toe around the rink like they've been there every weekend since 1970." He didn't wait to answer - totally straight-faced, "We don't like those guys in Iowa. We beat 'em up and throw their skates in the crick." I laughed... I was SO relieved. He DID have a sense of humor - somewhere in there. I went to the bathroom and tried to do some damage control on my face and hair. And the rest of the evening was nice. When he left that evening, I told him that I had enjoyed our time together, but that I had decided earlier that I was supposed to be done with dating for awhile - that I felt God wanted me to be single for now. His only response was, "You have to do what God's leading you to do. I've been single for almost 7 years. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not dating anyone else. When you decide you're ready, you let me know."
I had never had a man be so relaxed... so at peace... so patient. We stayed in contact over the phone, and those conversations went much better. He asked if he could come visit me the next time the girls were with their dad. I said jokingly, "I have plans with a girlfriend all day Saturday, but you could hang out at my parents, and I can meet up with you when I get home that evening. He said, "Okay." He drove 3 1/2 hours to my parents' house that afternoon, and sat there with them till I got there. When I got there, my dad took me aside and said, "If you don't marry him, I will." My dad had rarely if ever said anything complimentary about any guy I had ever known. I wondered what in the world Mark had said or done to get such praise.
I paid closer attention after that, and Mark and I started having those awful conversations that single parents have to have when dating. There was no, "What movies do you like?" or "What's your favorite color?" It was, "What if we were to work out? Who would move?" He said he couldn't move. After all, Austin was in school there, and his parents had helped so much in raising Austin, he could never leave there. I knew I couldn't move the girls farther from their dad. We just decided to pray. We had been, we would keep praying, and see what happened. His mom came to him the next day and said, "Your dad and I have been praying, and we want you to know that if God leads you to take Austin and move, we are okay with that." They had no idea he was thinking of moving. After that, we decided we could let the kids meet and see if they hit it off. We took the responsibility so seriously - knowing that the kids's hearts were at stake. That first meeting, the girls dressed up in dress up clothes and excitedly met Austin and Mark - liking them both immediately. Austin spent most of the time with me playing Battle Ships, and the girls played with Mark. We then went to Pizza Hut and swimming at the hotel Mark and Austin were staying at. I remember being taken aback that Mark had a cow skull tattoo - didn't know that until that swimming date with the kids. :) That was the last time I would see him without a shirt until we were married. We wanted to try to do things better this time. We laugh now at how dating had changed for us so drastically. We were older and had more "baggage" - mostly around our middles. At least for us, the time for superficiality had passed.
I met Mark's parents shortly thereafter on a trip to their house, and they were so sweet and loving. They confirmed all of what Mark had told me - that he had not dated but one time since his divorce, that he spent all of his weekends with Austin, etc. - basically that he truly was what he claimed - which is RARE. He obviously came from a close, devoted family - like I did. The next time I saw Mark, he proposed to me in the livingroom at his parents' farmhouse a week before Valentine's Day 2006. He didn't say anything flashy, because it's just not him. I realized that God had "fillintheblank" 'ed everything I had not asked specifically for in a husband... including the fact he is quiet, sensible, not particularly romantic, and sometimes downright cranky. However, he is brilliant, handy, funny, and has the ability - when applied - to be very charming. God knew what I needed much better than I did.
We were married Good Friday, April 14, 2006... barely over 4 months since we had met in person. My sister and brother-in-law happened to be in town that weekend, and it fit our plans just neatly. Levi was born 1 year later on our anniversary. Violet was born nearly 2 years after Levi. Our family is complete.
Some people live each day wondering if anyone has thought of them at all - even for a moment - that day. I learned in a very personal way that the Creator of the Universe thinks of me each moment of each day, and that He is even willing to put me on the minds/hearts of others who He prompted to act on my behalf... showing me His love for me. I spent those years trying to figure God out... even trying to manipulate Him to act on my behalf, never realizing that He was acting on my behalf every moment. I thought I knew what He would and wouldn't do - according to a set of formulas and legalistic ideas. He showed me that I could not predict or measure or imagine His ways, because He is WHOLLY different from me. I could never have imagined the things He had in store. Please understand, Mark and I do not believe that this life is preferable to having remained in our first marriages. We did not voluntarily leave those marriages, and we believe it would have been better for our original families to have stayed intact. However, we are amazed at how God can redeem a life from the pit. He set us in families and gave us others around us who understand the pain of broken families and the hurt of abandonment and shattered dreams. He is healing us daily in ways we may never understand. That is our miracle, and it happens every day.
I used to be afraid to be alone. When my worst fear happened, God showed me that my fear was unfounded, as I would never truly be alone. He would not leave me alone, just as He promises. I used to be excited at the prospect of an eternity with loved ones. Now I only long for the One Who put that desire within me. I can't wait for eternity by His side. That is true freedom.
Isaiah 55:8-9
Some of you know how our family came to be. Some of you do not. Most likely, there are portions and details most of you do not know, but I tell you right now, there has been no greater miracle in my life than the one that unfolds each day in our home. And it's not for the reason you may think.
Many people have said things to me along the lines of, "Well, things were just so bad in your first marriages, and God finally blessed you and Mark with each other," or, "You finally both got what you deserved." While such sentiments are romantic and heartfelt, they miss the tragedy that is broken marriage. For ourselves, our children, and our posterity, these things are not as neatly swept under the rug. We live with the consequences of our immature, selfish, and sinful decisions daily and will live with them for the rest of our lives. These things are especially likely to come back to haunt us at the most inopportune times - times that should be the most celebrated and special: birthdays, holidays, vacations, and weddings. Because divorce has become so commonplace, this is taken as part of life for so many, but it is not the life we wanted - or want even now.
Detailed histories can muddy the waters, but Mark and I were both married to other people at age 19. His marriage lasted 3 years and produced a sweet baby boy - Austin, who was 3 at the time of his divorce. Mine lasted 7 1/2 years and produced 2 sweet baby girls - Sadie and Claire, who were 3 and 1 at the time of our divorce. Mark and I were not, nor are we sainted people, and it was as much our own faults that our marriages ended as it was the faults of those to whom we were married.
Mark and I handled our divorces quite differently. I have rarely been as sensible and cautious as I am romantic and impetuous. I saw my singleness as a problem that needed an answer. What I missed was that my singleness was actually a solution that God gave me and would lead me to the only truth that could set me free. The truth was this: We all have the same desire - need even - to be loved and accepted truly and unconditionally and to do the same in return. This desire isn't the cruel hoax that most cynical "former romantics" think it is. It is our very life, and it was put there by the only One who was ever meant to fulfill it, and HE is "able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." - Eph. 3:20
But I didn't believe those things about God. I said I believed them, but I didn't really believe them. So I dove headlong into solving my "problem", knowing that I was headed for a dead-end, but at the same time believing I deserved one - almost inviting one. I started my on-line dating odyssey, and it was a mess. I love people, and I "met" (most times never literally) more new people during that time than maybe ever before in such a short time period, and I have stories from that awful time that range from hilarious to ridiculous to heart-warming, gut-wrenching, to just plain ugly. My family and friends watched this train wreck, loving me through it - which still amazes me.
My mom asked me to go to Divorce Recovery classes... mmm... sounded like fun. She knew what I needed, and I did it - hoping still in the back of my mind to meet someone who could solve my "problem". I met the most amazing group of women (and a few men) who met weekly for encouragement, truth, tears, and laughter. I finally started to see that God was the answer, and I "knew" how God worked, after all. I needed to get close to Him and get that over with so I could get a husband. Right? I started reading a book called "Falling in Love with Jesus". It's written by a woman who has been chronically single. Oh, how I hated that prospect. I knew that just by reading it I would be horribly stricken with the same malady - aloneness. At the same time, I was trying to mentally prepare for it. All of this while facing first weekends without my girls - eating large amounts of pizza by myself on Saturday night in front of T.V. while romanticizing friends sitting by crackling fires with their loved ones near. (If only I had allowed my imagination to conjure up as many wonderful things for myself as I did for other people during those times, I would doubtless have enjoyed myself much more.)
I was hearing of the idea that God could fill the role of husband in my life. Really? After getting over the obvious mental hurdles involved there, I decided to start taking Him up on the "notion". I am terribly forgetful - to the point of humiliation, and you would think that acute embarrassment and regular inconvenience would be a suitable teacher. However, for me, it is not. I used to ask my husband to remind me of appointments, obligations, etc. Sometimes he did, sometimes not. So I prayed, "God, if you can be my husband, remind me to do - fillintheblank." Never did God forget to remind me in that still, small voice - right down to "Honey, don't forget the spoon for your dish to pass." Okay, so He can remind me of things - maybe that's a coincidence - maybe I'm a new, remembering me.
Next test... "man jobs". Along with my forgetfulness, locking the doors, in our many times questionable neighborhood was a job I left to my husband. I went to high school with a guy who is now a police officer. One night at 3:33 in the morning, I heard a knock at the door. After rousing from my extreme sleep stupor, I made my way to the door only to see a police officer facing away from me. My immediate thought was, "Oh, no! What did I do?? Is this about the cuticles scissors I tried to smuggle onto the airplane?" I could see he was on his shoulder radio, but I didn't see his face. He had been knocking, but had quit. So I knocked back very quietly. He turned around and said, "Marcie?!" Ah... I knew that face, thank the Lord! He explained that he needed to come in, and I let him in. He said, "Do you know that your garage door and both house doors are all unlocked?? I've been driving by about every night and checking on you guys, and I saw the garage door, and I came and checked, and all of your doors are unlocked. What are you thinking?" I wasn't thinking much at 3:33 AM to be honest, but he proceeded to check the house upstairs and down, and said to me, "You scared me! I was calling for backup and was about two minutes from entering your house with about 3 other officers." The thought of him and 3 other police officers entering my house and finding me in my PJ's at 3:33 AM proved motivation enough for me to ask God's future help remembering one more thing - door locking.
More "man jobs"... I had usually mowed our lawn, much to my chagrin, and done some of the minor repairs necessary on our vehicles. I had always considered these "man jobs", as my dad had usually done them as I grew up. Enter two more friends - a man from church who mowed lawns as a side job said he was over in our neighborhood one day a week and would pick up the lawn mowing for me, as it was difficult for me to find a sitter to mow the lawn. I didn't ask or mention to anyone the need for that, and he did it for free. Another man from church and his wife invited me and the girls to come over once every couple months and have dinner while he checked my car out and changed the oil. Man jobs accomplished.
Oh, and the dead bird... I was driving to Divorce Recovery one day, and hit a poor sparrow with my van. It slid up the hood and got lodged, ever so grotesquely, in my windshield wiper. I tried to run the wipers at speeds that would have worked for every type of rain from sprinkle to FLOOD - on this bright, sunny day to dislodge the broken bird, but it was the staying type. I continued to try the wipers as I headed first to pick up my friend Laura. I remembered that her subdivision had MANY little kids playing outside all of the time. I thought, "Surely one of these kiddos will find this dead thing fascinating and want to remove it for me." I pulled into her neighborhood to find bikes laying all around the yards - but not one child. Ugh... the idea of further embarrassment - driving to class with the dead bird attached to my already not-cool van - proved to be more than I was willing to bear. As we were about to leave for class, I was about to take matters into my own hands - somehow - until I remembered, "God? You can be my husband, right? Please remove this bird." As if on cue, a cloud opened up right above me, and the rain started to sprinkle on my van. I thought, "I've tried this wiper thing about 100 times today - hasn't worked." In my stubbornness, I waited until I couldn't see out my windshield from the rain. I turned my windshield wiper on once. The bird sailed across the windshield as it had before but this time it landed with a thud on the ground to the left of my van. The rain promptly ceased, and the night was as beautiful as a summer night could be.
I have as many stories about finances as you can imagine, but an interesting thing happened... I had quit my job when Sadie was born, and I was unemployed at the time of the divorce. The divorce was not particularly amicable, and I knew I was likely to end up with very little on which to live. I just prayed, knowing that Proverbs 21:1 says that God can change the hearts of kings. Then I knew He could change the heart of my husband. When we were discussing details about the divorce, my husband at the time - decided at the last minute to voluntarily give me and the girls $1,000 every two weeks to live on, in addition to the required child support. He also gave me his full interest in the house we had built together. I was offered a part time job at a ministry that allowed me to be home during the days with my children, and I have stories of amazing people who gave me gifts of money at perfect times when I needed it. I was the only woman in a divorce group of 70 who was receiving "maintenance" payments. I could just smile - knowing Who was providing for me.
Gifts? Love notes? He wrote The Book. Every night I spent time in His Word, there were love notes to me. If I had a specific need, concern, or hurt - He always addressed it perfectly with the turn of a page. But wait... I like gifts I can put my hands on. I went out to my mailbox almost every week (forgetful, remember?), and nearly every time I went, there was an anonymous note in my mail - beautifully written calligraphy - every word precious to me. I received cards and letters - sometimes anonymous, sometimes not, but every one a gift. As that first official divorced Christmas approached, the loneliness loomed heavily. The girls were scheduled to be with their dad, and that left me for the first time in my life with no one home on Christmas Eve and Day. "Santa" wouldn't visit our house this year. As sickness twisted my stomach, I trudged home from work Christmas Eve to find my Christmas tree almost obscured by a stack of beautifully wrapped gifts - 12 deep - under our tree - each one with my name on it and each one anonymous. The writing of it still brings tears to my eyes... as I savored the moment of unwrapping each one with my "Husband". I can't tell you to this day, the names of those involved in that act of kindness, although I have some hunches. But I know Who really orchestrated it.
Fast forward to the idea of asking God for what we want in a spouse - and actually expecting to receive it. My mom asked me if I could have everything I wanted, what would it look like. I said, "Strong Christian, over six foot tall, farmer who doesn't farm anymore (ie. good work ethic, strong, steady), wears carrharts and work boots to work, close-knit family like ours, someone who has kid(s) or wants them..." Needless to say, I was as specific with criteria for my second chance as I had been vague about the criteria for my first. I didn't expect this exactly, but a few months later, I got an e-mail from this guy:
His profile pictures he took himself - one of them was of him in his carrhart overalls after work. This picture of him on his parents' farmhouse that he was renting from them at the time. I thought, oh... how sweet. I never thought we would be married less than a year later. He wrote me about his son. He wrote that he had just gotten his computer and didn't know how all of this worked yet, but that he wanted to hear about me and was anxious to hear back. I wrote back a courteous response, and we talked a little via e-mail once in awhile in fall of 2005. When he asked if we could talk on the phone, I put it off for awhile. Eventually, I gave him my phone number, and we talked... or should I say, I talked. His part mostly consisted of long, what I considered to be awkward silences. I've since learned that to Mark, there is no such thing as an "awkward silence" (which, by the way, comes in handy when dealing with used car salesmen). I did, however, glean that he was an electrician. He had hoped to farm with his dad, but his dad had retired from farming, and he had found a different line of work. He was about 6'4" (or so his profile stated) and had been at the same job since college. All of these things... I still had no thought that he could be the man God had planned for me.The girls and I went on a vacation to Florida with my parents in November. I spent most of the time there avoiding Mark's calls in favor of others who were easier to talk to, and my parents were annoyed that I wouldn't answer, but I found it exhausting to talk to Mark. He was nothing if not persistent. In December, I had really started to become interested in someone else, and Mark continued to call. He finally asked if we could meet one time and see if there as any connection at all. I said no until finally, toward the end of December, I said we could meet in January one time. The same day Mark and I agreed to meet, the other man I liked and I both agreed that we were not at a good place for dating, and I realized that I should not be dating at all. I knew that I was not ready and had been forcing it. I felt God must be telling me to back off and let Him work on me for awhile - maybe forever - before I was ready for another relationship. All that afternoon/evening, I cried and surrendered the idea that I needed anyone else at all. I dreaded meeting Mark that night because of my new decision, but had figured all along that we were already a dead end. I just went with the "let's get this over" attitude.
I arrived at Candlelight in a hoodie, jeans, and blue and yellow tennis shoes - swollen and without makeup from crying all day. After a smile and a brief hug, we were led to our table where I tried painfully to make small talk. Sure this was going nowhere, I finally said, "So how do you feel about roller skating?" He replied, "Why do I feel like if I tell you I like roller skating you're going to want to go right now?" I said something along the lines of, "Look, I'm just trying to make conversation here." He slowly responded, "Well, I'd go roller skating with you, but I'd probably fall down a lot, and that wouldn't be very manly." I said, "Well, I think that is more manly than those guys who twinkle-toe around the rink like they've been there every weekend since 1970." He didn't wait to answer - totally straight-faced, "We don't like those guys in Iowa. We beat 'em up and throw their skates in the crick." I laughed... I was SO relieved. He DID have a sense of humor - somewhere in there. I went to the bathroom and tried to do some damage control on my face and hair. And the rest of the evening was nice. When he left that evening, I told him that I had enjoyed our time together, but that I had decided earlier that I was supposed to be done with dating for awhile - that I felt God wanted me to be single for now. His only response was, "You have to do what God's leading you to do. I've been single for almost 7 years. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not dating anyone else. When you decide you're ready, you let me know."
I had never had a man be so relaxed... so at peace... so patient. We stayed in contact over the phone, and those conversations went much better. He asked if he could come visit me the next time the girls were with their dad. I said jokingly, "I have plans with a girlfriend all day Saturday, but you could hang out at my parents, and I can meet up with you when I get home that evening. He said, "Okay." He drove 3 1/2 hours to my parents' house that afternoon, and sat there with them till I got there. When I got there, my dad took me aside and said, "If you don't marry him, I will." My dad had rarely if ever said anything complimentary about any guy I had ever known. I wondered what in the world Mark had said or done to get such praise.
I paid closer attention after that, and Mark and I started having those awful conversations that single parents have to have when dating. There was no, "What movies do you like?" or "What's your favorite color?" It was, "What if we were to work out? Who would move?" He said he couldn't move. After all, Austin was in school there, and his parents had helped so much in raising Austin, he could never leave there. I knew I couldn't move the girls farther from their dad. We just decided to pray. We had been, we would keep praying, and see what happened. His mom came to him the next day and said, "Your dad and I have been praying, and we want you to know that if God leads you to take Austin and move, we are okay with that." They had no idea he was thinking of moving. After that, we decided we could let the kids meet and see if they hit it off. We took the responsibility so seriously - knowing that the kids's hearts were at stake. That first meeting, the girls dressed up in dress up clothes and excitedly met Austin and Mark - liking them both immediately. Austin spent most of the time with me playing Battle Ships, and the girls played with Mark. We then went to Pizza Hut and swimming at the hotel Mark and Austin were staying at. I remember being taken aback that Mark had a cow skull tattoo - didn't know that until that swimming date with the kids. :) That was the last time I would see him without a shirt until we were married. We wanted to try to do things better this time. We laugh now at how dating had changed for us so drastically. We were older and had more "baggage" - mostly around our middles. At least for us, the time for superficiality had passed.
I met Mark's parents shortly thereafter on a trip to their house, and they were so sweet and loving. They confirmed all of what Mark had told me - that he had not dated but one time since his divorce, that he spent all of his weekends with Austin, etc. - basically that he truly was what he claimed - which is RARE. He obviously came from a close, devoted family - like I did. The next time I saw Mark, he proposed to me in the livingroom at his parents' farmhouse a week before Valentine's Day 2006. He didn't say anything flashy, because it's just not him. I realized that God had "fillintheblank" 'ed everything I had not asked specifically for in a husband... including the fact he is quiet, sensible, not particularly romantic, and sometimes downright cranky. However, he is brilliant, handy, funny, and has the ability - when applied - to be very charming. God knew what I needed much better than I did.
We were married Good Friday, April 14, 2006... barely over 4 months since we had met in person. My sister and brother-in-law happened to be in town that weekend, and it fit our plans just neatly. Levi was born 1 year later on our anniversary. Violet was born nearly 2 years after Levi. Our family is complete.
Some people live each day wondering if anyone has thought of them at all - even for a moment - that day. I learned in a very personal way that the Creator of the Universe thinks of me each moment of each day, and that He is even willing to put me on the minds/hearts of others who He prompted to act on my behalf... showing me His love for me. I spent those years trying to figure God out... even trying to manipulate Him to act on my behalf, never realizing that He was acting on my behalf every moment. I thought I knew what He would and wouldn't do - according to a set of formulas and legalistic ideas. He showed me that I could not predict or measure or imagine His ways, because He is WHOLLY different from me. I could never have imagined the things He had in store. Please understand, Mark and I do not believe that this life is preferable to having remained in our first marriages. We did not voluntarily leave those marriages, and we believe it would have been better for our original families to have stayed intact. However, we are amazed at how God can redeem a life from the pit. He set us in families and gave us others around us who understand the pain of broken families and the hurt of abandonment and shattered dreams. He is healing us daily in ways we may never understand. That is our miracle, and it happens every day.
I used to be afraid to be alone. When my worst fear happened, God showed me that my fear was unfounded, as I would never truly be alone. He would not leave me alone, just as He promises. I used to be excited at the prospect of an eternity with loved ones. Now I only long for the One Who put that desire within me. I can't wait for eternity by His side. That is true freedom.
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.
9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Favorite Facebook Statuses... Just so I can remember them later.
I had a little fun with this one. I've been meaning to go back and check out old FB statuses so that I could keep them like a journal. Tonight I actually took the time to do it. If you can't tell, FB statuses happen to be my creative outlet. Maybe it's because I don't have time to do much else these days, but I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them.
...less than 3.5 hours till Friday! Sometimes I think I've entered an alternate reality. One's into eating trash; another one is into taunting and pistol whipping a sock monkey; and I think I bought 30 pounds of potatoes this week as a result of pure distraction. I love my life, but the weekend may be the only thing keeping me sane.
...Violet has used her new-found operational knowledge of screw-top lids to dump an entire container of super-concentrated detergent all over the laundry room floor while mom was trying to make herself some lunch. On the bright side the laundry room floor hasn't been this clean in...maybe ever. I burned about 50 extra calories in cleanup efforts, and Violet learned to soap skate, which may someday be an Olympic event.
...anxiously awaits the day when the toilet (and its associates) will become objects of disgust rather than objects of fascination for Violet. That irreversible event will be accompanied by celebratory feasting at the Slagter house.
...Give a child a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a child to fish, and you'll feed him for a lifetime. Teach a child to spell, and he'll write "Clean Me!" on your dusty surfaces.
...When I'm trying on clothes in a department store dressing room, I inevitably get to the point of putting my own clothes back on, and I think, "When did I think these looked good?"
...Looney Toons - now Levi knows how to say "Awww... SHADDAP!" and "I taught I caught a Booty Cat" (which doesn't make any sense, but at least isn't mean). Sorry if my son tells you or yours to "Awww... SHADDAP!" Irresponsible parenting.
...is discovering that the acceptable level of chaos in this household has increased exponentially with the birth of each child. I'm thanking God that so has the grace and stamina to handle it all!
...as I'm reading the girls "Treasures in the Snow" tonight...Claire: Mom, is Goofy married? Me: Goofy who? Claire: Goofy has a son, but there isn't any mom. Me: Are you paying any attention to this book? Claire: Maybe he's adopted. Sadie: He can't be adopted, he has the same voice and the same buck teeth as his dad!
...watching Levi play air guitar to Vivaldi. For some reason he hasn't learned the air violin yet.
...Levi told me this morning, "Mom, I think you need to stop bossing me around." I think he's onto me.
...Darn you, girlscouts, and your delicious, character-building cookies! If only character was the only thing your cookies help grow.
...is taken aback that my parents allow my children to fish in their aquarium. They actually pull up a step stool and give them poles. Never in 1,000,000 years would they have allowed us to do that as children. Is pushover-ness the first stage of senility?
...is cleaning up from an incident with a badminton racket and a Christmas ornament.
...finds it mildly amusing that when Violet sees Levi's pacifier anywhere and pops it in her mouth, once he notices the "injustice", he dramatically removes it from her mouth saying, "ew, ew!" and proceeds to wipe it off on his clothes, the carpet, the furniture, and yes, even the trash can, to remove unwanted germs. As if any of those surfaces are less objectionable, sanitarily speaking, than his baby sister's mouth.
...is having fun with the kids - rolling over bubble wrap with the office chair. Good times... GREAT education. :)
...is on FB while Mark is watching Grumpy Old Men... proving once again that my affection for people is directly proportional to his disdain for them. :)
...remembers when "Did he swallow the hook?" used to be a fishing phrase. Now it just has to do with toddlers and Christmas tree ornaments.
The girls are trying to teach Violet to walk - having her walk between them. (Overheard) Sadie: Claire, let's get some crackers, and then we can train her like a dog. Claire: Violet? Want some num nums? Violet: Num num. Sadie: Good, now we know how to get her to do something. And so the dysfunction begins.
So I'm on the phone with my dental insurance company, and they put me on hold. I get the elevator music/pre-recorded messages which included a lecture about bad breath (how it's caused, what it indicates, and how to prevent it). For a split second, I found myself a little offended. It would have been more effective had it been preceded by the phrase "please breathe into your telephone receiver".
So this morning when Mark started the van a bunch of dog food flew out of the tailpipe. So either the dog would rather have steak or Levi got creative again. It was actually kind of cool... got some distance... and now, the cleanup.
Levi (aka "the pantsless chef") was helping me peel an onion tonight, and we were talking about onions, and he started saying, "This onion... it makes me sad, BOOHOOHOO!" I had him sitting on the counter, and he was messing around and fell into the trash can. He said, "I gotta go tell dad I fell in the trash." This is apparently a guy moment.
(with regard to whether or not the neighbors should get pie or cookies for Christmas) "Two sets of them we know pretty well - one we talk to about weekly, and the other Levi met in their driveway, naked from the waist down (he was, they weren't). So I think that pretty much makes us family. They deserve pie for that. The rest get cookies. :)
...laughs in the face of expiration dates.
...just got home from a GREAT trip with my hubby. I was thinking the whole time how nice anonymity was. (Insert Cheers music here.) "Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name... And they didn't even notice that you came... You wanna go where nobody knows your name." Does that mean I'm antisocial?
...wonders how many times children can randomly vomit for no apparent reason on a Thanksgiving trip to Grandma's... GOOD times. Grandma sprayed so much Lysol in our van that I think my nose hair was incinerated.
...is annoyed by mail-in rebates. Call me ungrateful, but an entire system built around the hope that people will forget, misplace, or lose interest is destined to work against people like me. Do you want your $5 check badly enough to get out your scissors, envelope, and stamp, fill out a 2-page form, and drive it to the post office, wait for your check to come 2 months later, and take it to the bank to get it cashed?
...is whelmed.
...got to sweep the floor with no kids around! Translation: Nobody walked through my dirt! Ah, the luxuries a mother enjoys...
...is getting ready to go get New Mooned. *Yawn* Wonder if this old lady is up for a midnight movie??
...thinks solitary confinement might be significantly worse torture if they threw a few teething toddlers and a hormonal 31 year old woman in the mix.
Levi is of the opinion that "dolphins are just skinny whales".
...thinks "fun size" candy bars should be called "no fun size" candy bars.
...is in the tooth season of parenting. I spend half the nights up with teething toddlers or being the tooth fairy for the "unteething" ones. At this rate, I may not be done with teeth until I lose all my own. Does the tooth fairy visit geriatrics?
...Violet is eating Levi's puzzle pieces, and he keeps taking them out of her mouth saying, "You're trouble! You're trouble!" A little pot calling the kettle "trouble"?
...Levi and Claire are playing house in their fort, and Levi is saying, "Mom! Mom!" Claire replies, "I'm not your mom." Levi says, "You're dad?" She responds, "No. I'm your wife." He says, "I'm the DAD. Yeah!" About thirty seconds later I heard some spousal abuse going on. All I could say was, "Levi, stop hitting... your wife!"
...would like the name and address of the "man in the black and blue coat" who is giving away whistles every Sunday at church. Our family would like to give him a nice, long, leisurely ride home from church next Sunday.
...has the family on a laundry reform program. If they turn in dirty items inside out, they receive same items back clean, folded, and inside out. It saves me about half the time I used to spend on laundry and distributes the remaining work according to initial laziness. Translation: If you see any of us in clothes that are inside out you know why.
...is hoping someday they make movies in an indestructible case - impervious to scratches and being broken in half... oh, wait... that was VHS.
...is just finishing up a grueling day of school. There was weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, and that was just ME.
...Pet Peeve of the Day: when the pharmacy puts my child's name in quotes on a prescription bottle label. She's not a "pet", she's not a "ghost writer", and that's not just what we "call her". It's her name.
...thinks that spaghetti night should also be BATH night.
...has been reminded never to ask Mark to prune back any of my shrubs EVER again... as evidenced by the tiny, pathetic stick that was once my beautiful hydrangea.
...is oh, so happy they gave away whistles at church this morning. It's a whistle/compass/key chain/flashlight. Because you never know when an 8 year old will be driving along in the dark with no direction and need to be really annoying.
...Levi put his fingers in my contact case solution and poked his fingers in both of his eyes and said, "There. I put in my contacts."
...is listening to the girls play with their My Little Ponies. The ponies are having a contest, and Sadie says, "You all get a prize. Now go home to your mommies!" Could this be a commentary on modern competitive spirit? I wonder how that would work in the Olympics?
...wishes working was as fun as sleeping and broccoli was as delicious as ice cream. Even as I type this, I know one of you reading this is going to say, "I love working!" or "I like broccoli better than ice cream!"... and to you, I say... don't type it in my comment section. YES, you're good! The guilt I feel knowing people like you are out there is punishment enough.
...Each night the (usually pantsless) chef sits on my counter and helps me make dinner. Aside from licking the spoons, sneezing in the batter, taking a bite out of each piece of frozen garlic bread, and spilling copious amounts of ingredients on the floor, he's really quite helpful! The health department would run out of red ink around here.
...is nerdifying my kids.
...is going to hang out with my man. I like him.
...Levi's discovered that, like me, he often wishes he had three hands... only his desire is based solely on the fact that there are three balloons in the house, and if he can only hold two of them, the third is for sharing... a toddler's biggest problem.
...is eating Keebler's frosted animal cookies. I didn't buy them for the kids. I bought them for me. I'm hiding them from the kids. I feel a little guilty, but I'll get over it after I eat this delicious elephant. Any questions?
...thinks she has too many friends who post their workouts. Please don't tell me you ran 5 miles today. Someone please just say, "I ate a quart of ice cream by myself and sat on the couch the rest of the day." Then I can live vicariously through you and ENJOY it.
...stayed up too late and is officially past the possibility of not snacking before bed.
...Okay - scratch the last status... apparently Levi, instead of helping dad with car, was picking up dog poop and smearing it all over his coat. So, instead of making cinnamon rolls, I am now clipping fingernails, washing hands repeatedly, disinfecting everything, and thoroughly laundering a coat.
...the kiddos are "helping" Mark work on the car while I make scratch cinnamon rolls for tomorrow's breakfast with the in-laws.
...Sadie just told me she's having a hot flash. Do you think she hangs out at Grandma's house sometimes? Either that or math makes 8 year old girls hormonal.
...If a mom screams in her closet and no one is around to hear it. Does it make her crazy?
...is sick. Mark said I should take vitamin C, green tea, and honey. I opted for Nyquil and hot chocolate. He told me I want to die young so I can get away from him. To which I responded, "Not just you, honey."
...7 minor injuries incurred, a dozen minor injuries inflicted, 9 time-outs, 3 minor disasters caused, and at least a half dozen, "I'm vehwy sowy"'s - yep he's officially feeling better.
...is wondering when Levi found the time to chew up peppermints and regurgitate them all over the white carpeting in the girls' room.
...got to grocery shop sans children today. As a result, no Slagter hilarity to report at present. Tune in tomorrow.
...So before I left for study tonight I gave Levi a kiss and told him, "I love you, buddy!" He looked deeply into my eyes and said, "I love... my pocket." No doubt the first in a long line of awkward, male "I love you" returns.
...Calgon... forget about me, take everyone else away.
...Two more sickies... Levi's cough made him lose his voice...which, I hate to say, works out pretty well for the rest of us.
...Claire has figured out the key to getting clean bed linens every night.
...is thankful! Dirty laundry means we have clothes on our backs. Dirty dishes means we have food on our table. Dirty diapers means they are healthy and well. Fewer children in the house means my mom took them for a few hours so I can actually remember all the reasons I am thankful!
...I gave my whole "eat all your carrots, because they have Vitamin A, and you don't want to have bad eyesight like mommy" bit to Claire tonight, and she said, "But do you think if I eat too much carrots my eyesight will go back to bad?"
...Almost wish I believed in reincarnation. I'd like to come back as something hairless.
...told Claire this morning that I thought she didn't like wearing dresses to church because Sadie doesn't like wearing them... to which she promptly responded, "That's not why I don't like wearing dresses. It's because I get tired of hearing people say, 'Claire, put your dress down' all the time!"
...went to the WWII reenactment today with my guys. There's nothing quite like the drama on the faces, the smell of the gunpowder hanging in the thick fog, standing in the concession line behind a member of the Luftwafe who is buying Oreo cookies.
...My mother-in-law is here the rest of the week to help with kids while Mark is on outage. I think Levi can't help but wonder why all the books we usually read together have more words when Grandma reads them.
...Violet's ecstatic that she's finally tall enough to eat out of the garbage can.
...So I'm teaching Claire that "tri" means 3 and "quad" means 4. We started with triangle, tripod, and we went to "triplets". I said, "When you have three identical babies, you call it 'tri'-what?" Without missing a beat, she responds, "Tri... to take care of them?"
...is taking the kids to McD's... and, if today has been any indication, I'm pretty sure Levi will be having an Angry Meal.
...is Sleepy, Dopey, and Grumpy.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
FORGIVEN? OR NOT...
This blog deals with the topic of forgiveness, namely God's forgiveness of our sins. This subject is near and dear to me for a specific reason. As a child, I was told that, if I was born again ("had 'accepted' Jesus as my savior") and had sinned, that all I need do to receive His forgiveness is ask Him for it sincerely, and it would be mine. Sounds simple enough, but it wasn't for me, and here's why. Some may say I am overly-analytical, but I see it differently. I cannot stand contradiction. God was loving and forgiving, IF I did my part too? What if I forgot to ask forgiveness for all my daily sins? What if one or two were left out unintentionally? Would they be left unforgiven? When I reached heaven, whether it was tonight or 70 years from now, would there be a stack of unforgiven sins between me and my loving heavenly Father? Would he point to them and say, "Now what are we going to do about these?" It would be too late then to go back and say, "Lord, forgive me for..." Consequently, I worried day in and day out that I was surely going to hell when I died, because there was no way I could meet God's impossible standard of asking His forgiveness in order to complete the cleansing process. Why did Jesus die anyway? Jesus final words, according to John 19:30 were, "It is finished." Why hadn't He just said, "My part is finished. Do yours, and you'll be forgiven."
Yesterday I was at Walmart, and I bought some kitchen towels that said, "Anti-Microbial Protection". These amazing towels would not hold in bacteria that cause bad odors and disease. I imagined cleaning my kitchen worry-free with these amazing towels, and I had to have them. I got them home, and I read the package further before discarding it only to find out, to my dismay and amusement, that I had to "activate" the antimicrobial protection by washing them before use in a certain brand of bleach. Wow... I imagine if I washed regular old kitchen towels thoroughly in bleach before and after each use, they would also repel germs. I had been taken in by the amazing claim not realizing that I had to do something to activate the germ fighting "power" I thought I had already received when I purchased them. I can't help but see the parallel between that anecdote and the idea that in order to activate the forgiving power of the cross, I have to say the "magic" words... "Forgive me, Lord, for..."
Confession and repentance are different issues, mind you. We are absolutely admonished to confess our sins and to turn from them. Forgiveness, however, is a finished work, by God's grace. I don't have to say the "magic words" to activate His life-giving forgiveness. However minor it may seem, saying any words in order to do our part to redeem ourselves gives us a false sense of Savior-ship. The thought being, "I can do my part to save myself."
I heard a statement made today that Jesus died for "original sin", but not for our daily sins. This makes me wonder, "Why am I not without my flesh... original sin?" OR "So, that's great for Adam and Eve and the rest of the OT saints, but what about me?" What exactly does that mean? Hebrews 7:27, 9:12, 9:26, and 10:1-3 all state that Jesus died, "once for all". This made me wonder, does that mean that He died once for all people or once for all sins? Hebrews 7:27 makes it very clear that it was "once for all" SINS. So why do we insist on complicating it? Why do we want to do our part to try to achieve what Jesus already achieved through so much pain and agony? It cheapens Jesus' sacrifice. One might also assume from this philosophy that if he faces a natural consequence of his sin (ie. gets a STD from illicit sex), he has paid for his own sin and Jesus's work in this case is needless.
WORKS:
My children and I have been given the school assignment to do a nature walk each Friday afternoon. We are supposed to make a poster with two sections. "Things God Made" on one side and "Things Man Made" on the other side. I'm astounded at how intricate and lovely the things on the God side of the poster are compared to the Man side. You could compare it to having an accomplished artist's works on one side and a pre-school child's art works on the other. Manmade items have design to be sure but lack the immense care and detail that God's works have.
When I do a search of the Bible for the word "Works", I come up with 67 obvious results. The Lord's works are overwhelmingly GOOD and AMAZING, whereas man's works are overwhelmingly wicked or obligatory. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" The obvious conclusion (in my opinion) is that when we try to complete God's finished work, we insult Him and cheapen it. We can make things right with man when we sin (by seeking forgiveness and making restitution if possible), but we were never able to make ourselves right with God. What an amazing gift! If I were to have to pay for my own sins, I would always come up short.
I once had a teacher who belonged devoutly to a Nazarene congregation. She believed firmly that, if a person sinned and had not sought forgiveness for that sin before death, he/she was bound for hell. The poor thief who was crucified next to Jesus! Boy, I bet he had to pray REALLY fast in order to receive the salvation Jesus said he would surely have that day. I have never heard a more blatantly fear-based reason for faith. So many denominations have resorted to fear to keep people on the "straight and narrow". Almost as if the thought is, "If we tell people they have full forgiveness of all the sins they'll ever commit, they'll go have a free-for-all and never stop sinning." Although the truth is, none of us will ever stop sinning until we go to heaven, if a person is using God's grace as an excuse to sin, he was probably never saved in the first place. After all, Romans 2:4 says that it is indeed God's KINDNESS that leads us to repentance. What? Not his wrath? Not impending punishment? Not the lure of everlasting life in paradise? Not the fear-mongering of a relgious establishment?
God had millenia (OT) of obligatory "worship" from people who were afraid of being swallowed up in his wrath. Jesus was the answer to that. Jesus was God's way of showing us that was not what He desired. He wants us to love Him for His kindness, His grace, His forgiveness, His character, His works, His unfailing love, yes, even His justice. He did that by erasing our sins with Jesus's (His own) blood. We are CLEAN, by God's grace when we have repented and received forgiveness of sins. It is finished!
Back to that young girl crying in her room because she could not remember all the sins she had committed that day - the girl who was sure she would go to hell if she died before she woke. The stack of unforgiven sins loomed ominously and, whether real or imagined, separated her from God's deep love for her. She spiraled into a world of sin and depression because she knew she would never measure up to such a standard. Many a sin committed in anger and futility (because she was on the highway to hell anyway) permanently changed her. She wouldn't realize until many years later that Jesus's blood had purchased righteous clothes for her and dressed her in His glory.
My prayer for all God's people is that they would truly experience the freedom of God's grace and forgiveness (the finished work of the cross) and be permanently changed by it.
Yesterday I was at Walmart, and I bought some kitchen towels that said, "Anti-Microbial Protection". These amazing towels would not hold in bacteria that cause bad odors and disease. I imagined cleaning my kitchen worry-free with these amazing towels, and I had to have them. I got them home, and I read the package further before discarding it only to find out, to my dismay and amusement, that I had to "activate" the antimicrobial protection by washing them before use in a certain brand of bleach. Wow... I imagine if I washed regular old kitchen towels thoroughly in bleach before and after each use, they would also repel germs. I had been taken in by the amazing claim not realizing that I had to do something to activate the germ fighting "power" I thought I had already received when I purchased them. I can't help but see the parallel between that anecdote and the idea that in order to activate the forgiving power of the cross, I have to say the "magic" words... "Forgive me, Lord, for..."
Confession and repentance are different issues, mind you. We are absolutely admonished to confess our sins and to turn from them. Forgiveness, however, is a finished work, by God's grace. I don't have to say the "magic words" to activate His life-giving forgiveness. However minor it may seem, saying any words in order to do our part to redeem ourselves gives us a false sense of Savior-ship. The thought being, "I can do my part to save myself."
I heard a statement made today that Jesus died for "original sin", but not for our daily sins. This makes me wonder, "Why am I not without my flesh... original sin?" OR "So, that's great for Adam and Eve and the rest of the OT saints, but what about me?" What exactly does that mean? Hebrews 7:27, 9:12, 9:26, and 10:1-3 all state that Jesus died, "once for all". This made me wonder, does that mean that He died once for all people or once for all sins? Hebrews 7:27 makes it very clear that it was "once for all" SINS. So why do we insist on complicating it? Why do we want to do our part to try to achieve what Jesus already achieved through so much pain and agony? It cheapens Jesus' sacrifice. One might also assume from this philosophy that if he faces a natural consequence of his sin (ie. gets a STD from illicit sex), he has paid for his own sin and Jesus's work in this case is needless.
WORKS:
My children and I have been given the school assignment to do a nature walk each Friday afternoon. We are supposed to make a poster with two sections. "Things God Made" on one side and "Things Man Made" on the other side. I'm astounded at how intricate and lovely the things on the God side of the poster are compared to the Man side. You could compare it to having an accomplished artist's works on one side and a pre-school child's art works on the other. Manmade items have design to be sure but lack the immense care and detail that God's works have.
When I do a search of the Bible for the word "Works", I come up with 67 obvious results. The Lord's works are overwhelmingly GOOD and AMAZING, whereas man's works are overwhelmingly wicked or obligatory. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.' declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" The obvious conclusion (in my opinion) is that when we try to complete God's finished work, we insult Him and cheapen it. We can make things right with man when we sin (by seeking forgiveness and making restitution if possible), but we were never able to make ourselves right with God. What an amazing gift! If I were to have to pay for my own sins, I would always come up short.
I once had a teacher who belonged devoutly to a Nazarene congregation. She believed firmly that, if a person sinned and had not sought forgiveness for that sin before death, he/she was bound for hell. The poor thief who was crucified next to Jesus! Boy, I bet he had to pray REALLY fast in order to receive the salvation Jesus said he would surely have that day. I have never heard a more blatantly fear-based reason for faith. So many denominations have resorted to fear to keep people on the "straight and narrow". Almost as if the thought is, "If we tell people they have full forgiveness of all the sins they'll ever commit, they'll go have a free-for-all and never stop sinning." Although the truth is, none of us will ever stop sinning until we go to heaven, if a person is using God's grace as an excuse to sin, he was probably never saved in the first place. After all, Romans 2:4 says that it is indeed God's KINDNESS that leads us to repentance. What? Not his wrath? Not impending punishment? Not the lure of everlasting life in paradise? Not the fear-mongering of a relgious establishment?
God had millenia (OT) of obligatory "worship" from people who were afraid of being swallowed up in his wrath. Jesus was the answer to that. Jesus was God's way of showing us that was not what He desired. He wants us to love Him for His kindness, His grace, His forgiveness, His character, His works, His unfailing love, yes, even His justice. He did that by erasing our sins with Jesus's (His own) blood. We are CLEAN, by God's grace when we have repented and received forgiveness of sins. It is finished!
Back to that young girl crying in her room because she could not remember all the sins she had committed that day - the girl who was sure she would go to hell if she died before she woke. The stack of unforgiven sins loomed ominously and, whether real or imagined, separated her from God's deep love for her. She spiraled into a world of sin and depression because she knew she would never measure up to such a standard. Many a sin committed in anger and futility (because she was on the highway to hell anyway) permanently changed her. She wouldn't realize until many years later that Jesus's blood had purchased righteous clothes for her and dressed her in His glory.
My prayer for all God's people is that they would truly experience the freedom of God's grace and forgiveness (the finished work of the cross) and be permanently changed by it.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Questions Only a Parent Would Ask
I suppose it's about time I blog again. I somehow can't seem to find the time with 4 kids and one on the way. :) Imagine that!
I've been formulating this one, day by day, as motherhood passes me by - ever so slowly. I don't want to take a moment for granted, yet I do it anyway. The latest thoughts have to do with questions I never would have asked before I had children. These things never would have occurred to me. I've seen similar e-mail forwards, but I thought these applied specifically to me. Feel free to add some of your own in the comment section, as I LOVE to know that I'm not alone. Some have answers. Some, to this day, have an answer known only to a toddler.
Q1. Why is this (unsharpened) pencil in my shower?
Q2: Why has my laundry basket been colored (quite thoroughly) in red marker? How long did this take? Where was I? Didn't that marker say "washable"?
A2: Because your 20 month old has just learned how to uncap markers and thought that a white laundry basket was just not colorful enough. About 5 minutes. Changing loads of laundry. Yes, but it lied.
Q3: Why are there 6 (unsharpened) pencils in my gas fireplace?
Q4: How could a toddler put a wooden spoon in a gas fireplace vent in such a way that the Incredible Hulk would be hard-pressed to remove it?
Q5: How many pieces will a glass Christmas ornament shatter into and how far will the tiny glass shards travel?
A5: Now I know where glitter comes from.
Q6: Why are there 12 (unsharpened) pencils stuffed down my living room air ducts?
Q7: Why did the pediatrician scold me for letting my toddler hold a plastic straw? I figure... "he falls on it, it bends... unlike unsharpened pencils"
FACT: Outlet covers AND paperclips both fit NICELY into those little holes where electricity comes out.
ADDITIONAL FACT: Toddlers startle quite easily when being screamed at about putting paperclips into outlets. He probably was more shocked by that than he would have been by the actual event, had it happened.
Q8: Didn't I just buy a package of 24 unsharpened pencils? They couldn't just get up and walk away... or could they?
Q9: What happened to that Box Top for Education that I just left here on the counter?
Q10 & A9: (24 hours after Q9) Why is there a Box Top for Education in my son's dirty diaper?
Q11: Who says Box Tops for Education are good for kids?
Q12: Can a caterpillar be kept as a pet? If so, how?
A12: Yes, but the process is entirely more complex than caring for a cat or dog.
Q13: Can a caterpillar be held and caressed as one would a cat or dog?
A13: Yes and NO.
Q14: How long will a caterpillar keep its fur once held and caressed as one would a cat or dog?
A14: Not long enough.
Q15: Does a caterpillar really need all that fur to survive?
A15: YES.
Q16: Are caterpillar funerals appropriate?
A16: A decent backyard matchbox burial is appropriate.
Q17: Do tadpoles make good pets?
A17: Yes, if you do not take the word "pet" to mean that it can actually be held and caressed as one would a cat or dog.
Q18: How long can tadpoles survive a good petting?
A18: Not long enough to grow legs and hop away.
Q19: How fast can a Leopard Frog hop?
A19: With significant motivation (ie. a 4 year old chasing it) - fast enough to make a 4 year old cry.
Q20: Do alligator snapping turtles make good pets?
A20: If you plan to live 100 years, have a large bathtub you never use, have fingers that are impervious to being bitten off, and don't mind a foul smell and disposition - ABSOLUTELY.
Q21: How does one return an alligator snapping turtle to the wild when daddy has just told the kids they can keep him?
A21: Have daddy take the kids to Dairy Queen while turtle and mommy take a walk.
Q22: (courtesy of my nephew) Do baby bunnies with eyes still shut like to take a ride down the slide on our swing set?
A22: They love it. They even come back to visit sometimes.
Well, I guess that's all I have for now. I'm sure there will be more forthcoming. I have one final anecdote to share.
After we got our new van a few years back, my husband (who is obsessed with a clean car) took regular rounds of washing, waxing, straightening up, and vacuuming it nicely. I was sharing this one day with my friends, and I said, "Seriously, you could eat off the floor of my van!" To which one of my dear friends replied, "You could eat off the floor my van too... french fries, goldfish crackers..." I guess that aptly describes us all. I might have a neat van (sometimes), but my closets are a mess. :) Here's to spending the time I would spend on closets with the four (soon to be five) little gems that God has seen fit to give me. I'll have clean closets when I'm 60. Or will I?
God bless all, and enjoy the ride!!!
I've been formulating this one, day by day, as motherhood passes me by - ever so slowly. I don't want to take a moment for granted, yet I do it anyway. The latest thoughts have to do with questions I never would have asked before I had children. These things never would have occurred to me. I've seen similar e-mail forwards, but I thought these applied specifically to me. Feel free to add some of your own in the comment section, as I LOVE to know that I'm not alone. Some have answers. Some, to this day, have an answer known only to a toddler.
Q1. Why is this (unsharpened) pencil in my shower?
Q2: Why has my laundry basket been colored (quite thoroughly) in red marker? How long did this take? Where was I? Didn't that marker say "washable"?
A2: Because your 20 month old has just learned how to uncap markers and thought that a white laundry basket was just not colorful enough. About 5 minutes. Changing loads of laundry. Yes, but it lied.
Q3: Why are there 6 (unsharpened) pencils in my gas fireplace?
Q4: How could a toddler put a wooden spoon in a gas fireplace vent in such a way that the Incredible Hulk would be hard-pressed to remove it?
Q5: How many pieces will a glass Christmas ornament shatter into and how far will the tiny glass shards travel?
A5: Now I know where glitter comes from.
Q6: Why are there 12 (unsharpened) pencils stuffed down my living room air ducts?
Q7: Why did the pediatrician scold me for letting my toddler hold a plastic straw? I figure... "he falls on it, it bends... unlike unsharpened pencils"
FACT: Outlet covers AND paperclips both fit NICELY into those little holes where electricity comes out.
ADDITIONAL FACT: Toddlers startle quite easily when being screamed at about putting paperclips into outlets. He probably was more shocked by that than he would have been by the actual event, had it happened.
Q8: Didn't I just buy a package of 24 unsharpened pencils? They couldn't just get up and walk away... or could they?
Q9: What happened to that Box Top for Education that I just left here on the counter?
Q10 & A9: (24 hours after Q9) Why is there a Box Top for Education in my son's dirty diaper?
Q11: Who says Box Tops for Education are good for kids?
Q12: Can a caterpillar be kept as a pet? If so, how?
A12: Yes, but the process is entirely more complex than caring for a cat or dog.
Q13: Can a caterpillar be held and caressed as one would a cat or dog?
A13: Yes and NO.
Q14: How long will a caterpillar keep its fur once held and caressed as one would a cat or dog?
A14: Not long enough.
Q15: Does a caterpillar really need all that fur to survive?
A15: YES.
Q16: Are caterpillar funerals appropriate?
A16: A decent backyard matchbox burial is appropriate.
Q17: Do tadpoles make good pets?
A17: Yes, if you do not take the word "pet" to mean that it can actually be held and caressed as one would a cat or dog.
Q18: How long can tadpoles survive a good petting?
A18: Not long enough to grow legs and hop away.
Q19: How fast can a Leopard Frog hop?
A19: With significant motivation (ie. a 4 year old chasing it) - fast enough to make a 4 year old cry.
Q20: Do alligator snapping turtles make good pets?
A20: If you plan to live 100 years, have a large bathtub you never use, have fingers that are impervious to being bitten off, and don't mind a foul smell and disposition - ABSOLUTELY.
Q21: How does one return an alligator snapping turtle to the wild when daddy has just told the kids they can keep him?
A21: Have daddy take the kids to Dairy Queen while turtle and mommy take a walk.
Q22: (courtesy of my nephew) Do baby bunnies with eyes still shut like to take a ride down the slide on our swing set?
A22: They love it. They even come back to visit sometimes.
Well, I guess that's all I have for now. I'm sure there will be more forthcoming. I have one final anecdote to share.
After we got our new van a few years back, my husband (who is obsessed with a clean car) took regular rounds of washing, waxing, straightening up, and vacuuming it nicely. I was sharing this one day with my friends, and I said, "Seriously, you could eat off the floor of my van!" To which one of my dear friends replied, "You could eat off the floor my van too... french fries, goldfish crackers..." I guess that aptly describes us all. I might have a neat van (sometimes), but my closets are a mess. :) Here's to spending the time I would spend on closets with the four (soon to be five) little gems that God has seen fit to give me. I'll have clean closets when I'm 60. Or will I?
God bless all, and enjoy the ride!!!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Pets or Playthings?
We had a few of our newest critters take "the longest walk" this week. Claire had found a toad in their window well. She held and played with him too much, and he died a very exhausted and dried out kind of death some 24 hours later. She also acquired a Leopard Frog which we took very good care of for a couple days until Josiah and Claire were passing it between them and he (fortunately for him) made his escape very quickly (likely motivated by fear of meeting toad's same gruesome fate). Fortunately for us (and equally as unfortunately for him), the kids caught a bullfrog tadpole in the pond at the park on Sunday. I told Claire that since she was at a death toll of 3 pets in 7 days (including "Mater" - a tomato horn worm that we kept for just a few short days till he was handled to death), she was on her last try with a pet for awhile. Well, the tadpole made it home in one piece in his paper cup, but was also handled to the point of extinction (within a record time of 3 hours). So... we have decided not to adopt any more critters unless they like to be handled and petted, because the fuzz rubs right off of caterpillars after being "petted" to excess, as we have found. Mommy's conscience cannot take the grizzly deaths of any more of God's creatures (great or small) - at least not whilst pregnant. Claire has gotten quite accustomed to death and loss, however, and takes it like a champ - looking immediately for the next victim... I mean pet. She isn't even bothering to name them anymore. I'm thinking we might just take a page from the pork producers and just start spray painting big numbers on their backs as they come into our fated possession. 
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)