Disgusting, Disgustingness...

I usually make an effort to have something positive to say, but I'm not sure I'll be able to manage the perspective. Let's see...

*WARNING* If you are eating or planning to eat within the next several hours, you may want to put off reading this blog until you don't plan to be hungry for quite some time. If you are dieting, like me, you may want to bookmark this blog for help as an appetite suppressant.

Today we went to the park with some friends to play and eat some lunch. It's such a pretty day out today. (<-- positive) We brought some delicious (<-- positive) food to the park. Some of the children took off their shoes to play in the sandbox, and things were going quite nicely (<-- positive) until... The stench of poop drifted in from the west. As is the case in these scenarios, I began to try to locate the toddler with the odoriferous emanation. It happened to be Levi - but not where you would expect poop to be. No, the odor was coming from his hands -which were now (and had been) on his food. Upon further investigation, poop was also found on his pants and squished between every toe. And upon further, further investigation, it was determined that one of the slides was the source of the poop. At some point, it would seem, an adult or adult-sized person had decided (for reasons beyond my scope and comprehension) that the small slide would be a great place to relieve himself. I say "himself" with fair amount of confidence.

In panic and disgust, I searched vainly within a 1 block radius for running water... turning up zilch and knowing that I could never, in a thousand years, put him in our van this way. I looked in our diaper bag and turned up three semi-dry wipes. My friend let me use their bottled water to try to clean him as much as possible, but, as far as I was concerned at that moment, there might not be enough water in three counties to make him clean again. Fortunately, I had an extra pair of pants in the car and, pink flowers or not, he was going to wear them home.

So, yes... bad. As I was finishing up about half a bottle of hand sanitizer on Levi's entire body, I turned to see Violet - my sweet 15 month old - eating something at the bottom of the taller slide. I thought she had been eating a sandwich and because the filth was on the other slide. I had not realized that, while dealing with Levi, one of the other kids had walked through the poop and tracked a large portion of it onto the other slide. I glanced over to the sandbox where Violet's sandwich was laying and turned to see Violet climbing up onto the larger slide toward the filth. The next few moments took place in S...L...O...W... M...O...T...I...O...N. I tried to run, but it seemed my feet were glued in place. I tried to yell, but my voice was stuck in my throat. Ugh... my worst fears confirmed, and my sweet baby had it on her mouth, her hands, and her pants. No more wipes and minimal water made for a situation that defies your worst imagination. I feel the need to make up a word like "horridity". Yes, I think that fits nicely.

I doused her with water and sanitizer, undressed her, and placed her in her car seat. As I was gathering the rest of the children and our things, two of the 4 other children had the poop on their shoes and thus had to ride home without them. The ride home took what seemed an eternity, as the odor was proliferating throughout the van, and I found myself shouting things like, "Punch it, grandpa!" to the drivers around me. As soon as we entered the house all four children who had even looked in the general direction of the poop were headed toward the showers. Levi said, "I have poop, mom," and as I was trying to get the others in the tub found he needed a diaper change and had gotten his pink flower pants poopy on the inside. And as soon as I took Violet's diaper off, she peed all over the bathroom floor. That is when I used the phrase, "Is there any more disgusting disgustingness possible in this whole disgusting world??!" For the next hour, I scrubbed and washed children, clothes, and shoes - just hoping for the rapture.

I've been a parent for 9 years. I have seen all manner of nastiness from the month old milk sippy cup under the bed, to the moldy something-or-other in the back of the refrigerator, to bi-level bunk bed vomit. As I write, I have snot on my shoulder. But I tell you the truth: What I have seen today has quite possibly made me forget my own name. Post-traumatic stress syndrome has bid me good day. Today I have learned to be thankful for the 4 poopy diapers a day. (<--positive). I have a stench in my nostrils that may never leave, and I've discovered that leaving the house is entirely overrated.

I'll add more to this later - hopefully positive. :) I am smiling as I write, so please don't think I'm upset. I just wanted to sort out my thoughts. I will look back tomorrow and smile... if we don't all get the stomach flu.

The Beginning of Wisdom

Preface: This is not a blog promoting homeschooling (although, in my opinion, all of us school our children at home every day in infinitely important ways), lest any of you get lost in that mire along the way. The purpose of this blog is to encourage the AWE of God.

My children learn at home - like it or not. About half of the time - NOT. My greatest joy in teaching them at home (aside from regaining some of the time we lose as a step-family) is actually watching them gain knowledge and know that it was through little else than my instruction. It's kind of like watching them grow physically though. I know they must be growing, but I don't actually see it, and then one day WOW... they seem so much bigger. We love each other, and that draws them to me. This consequently helps them grow in knowledge, because I hold the key to their learning at this point in their lives. If they disliked me, they wouldn't want to accept what I had for them, even if I was trying my best to give it.

I thought I knew of a verse that said something like, "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom..." When I did a search of the phrase "fear of the Lord", I found MANY verses that state this very truth - Job 28:28, Psalm 111:10, Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 2:5, Proverbs 9:10, Proverbs 15:33, Isaiah 11:2-3, Isaiah 33:6 (if you don't have a Bible handy, I copied and pasted these verses at the end of this blog - NASB). In short, when I draw close to the Lord, then (and only then) is when I BEGIN to gain wisdom. So many people think that they will observe the universe, "get an education", learn from scholars, read voraciously, philosophize, and if all of these things point to God, then they will consider faith. If you read the repetitive theme from the Bible verses listed above, that is obviously a backward concept. God has something else to say. The fear of the Lord is where true wisdom has to start. The One who claims to be the "Alpha and Omega" - the A and Z - the beginning and end of all learning. A through Z is the very first thing we learn, and it contains the recipe for everything else we will learn. I don't think He is just referring to beginning and end of "time". I believe, by using the alphabetical reference, that He is referring to learning. If our thought processes don't start with Him and end up with Him, then we are getting lost along the way.

God makes it very clear that the "wisdom" of men is foolishness to Him. Yet we insist on trying to start with man's wisdom and mix in some God wherever we can make Him fit. But the point is that He requires nothing less than our broken pride. And unless we are willing to seem a fool to the outside world, we will never gain true wisdom, and we will always be keeping Him at arm's length, lest we seem foolish by association with Him. Unless HE is the One making us wise, we can only obtain a counterfeit, temporal, worldy wisdom - a wisdom that doesn't start with A and ends way before Z.

Psalm 94:11 - "The Lord knows the thoughts of man; He knows that they are futile."

1 Corinthians 1:25 - "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."

1 Corinthians 3:18-20 - "Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a 'fool' so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight. As it is written: 'He catches the wise in their craftiness'; and again, 'The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.'"

My children are going to have the greatest opportunity for learning if they come near to me, fellowship personally with me, believe that I love them, and trust that my heart toward them is truly devoted to their good. If we (me and my children) have missed making that connection, my teaching may be clear and true, but it will not be able to penetrate their vain thinking. Vanity has two meanings - conceit/pride and futility. Apparently, conceit/pride = futility. Just so, if we miss relationship with God, we miss the beginning (and end) of wisdom. Ironically, knowledge begins with a feeling... fear/awe. If we miss the awe, we will never get to the knowledge.

A short word study of the word "confound" on biblegateway.com reveals that the Lord loves to shame and confound the "wisdom" of men.

1 Corinthians 1:26-28 - "Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are..."

If you tend to think you "are" and find yourself nullified by things that "are not", I figure just go with it. You might be on the path to broken pride which might lead to true relationship with God which will surely end in the knowledge and wisdom you wanted in the beginning. And this cannot be taken from you.

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Job 28:28 - "And to man He said, 'Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom;
And to depart from evil is understanding.'"

Psalm 111:10 - "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;
His praise endures forever."

Proverbs 1:7 - "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;
Fools despise wisdom and instruction."

Proverbs 2:5 - "Then you will discern the fear of the LORD
And discover the knowledge of God. "

Proverbs 9:10 - "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

Proverbs 15:33 - "The fear of the LORD is the instruction for wisdom,
And before honor comes humility."

Isaiah 11:2-3 - "The Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him,
The spirit of wisdom and understanding,
The spirit of counsel and strength,
The spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD.
³And He will delight in the fear of the LORD,
And He will not judge by what His eyes see,
Nor make a decision by what His ears hear; "

Isaiah 33:6 - "And He will be the stability of your times,
A wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge;
The fear of the LORD is his treasure. "