Recently Levi (4) went from keeping his underoos dry all night for about a whole month to peeing in them every, single night. True to his style as a child who can do nothing halfway, when he wets the bed he really wets the bed. We put training pants on him every night - which used to be a "just in case..." kind of thing. Now it's more like a "in the absolute certainty that..." kind of thing. Despite the nightly presence of these training pants - which I affectionately refer to as his "bigggg undies", because that's what they are... BIG... so big they look like they should belong to a grown man and so thick that an elderly camel would be hard pressed to over-wet them - he still manages to wet his sheets, comforter, mattress pad, and even sometimes his pillowcase. Levi and Violet have shared a bedroom since Violet was born, and she refuses to move into her big girl bed. She likes the pack-n-play, and hasn't busted out the ends of it yet. So he began to discover that her big girl bed was available (and incidentally the only dry bed-surface in the room), and, once he'd wet his own bed he would proceed to move on to Violet's big-girl bed and wet it too. These kinds of things make for lovely mornings... that go something like this. (5:30 AM door slam, second door slam, toilet lid bangs open, tinkle, tinkle, toilet lid bangs shut, toilet flushes, bed jostles, covers move, Levi jumps into bed with me, and I notice a pungent urine smell.) Me: "Levi? Did you wet the bed?" Levi: "Yeah, but then I got into Violet's bed. Then I woke up and changed my clothes." (Loosely translated, "Yeah, and I didn't like the wetness. So I got into Violet's dry bed which I ended up peeing in too. Then, when I saw a sliver of sunlight through the drapes I decided it was time for everyone to wake up. So I got up, turned on the bedroom light, rummaged through every item of clothing I own, and decided on the third outfit that I tried on. I think Violet might have woken up about that time. Then I decided I better slam some doors to make sure she was good and awake. Then I passed one whole bathroom on the way to your bedroom so that I could go in your bathroom." Why he slams his bedroom door, my bedroom door, but leaves the bathroom doors wide open? The world may never know.)
Some parents might complain if a toddler wakes them up to change their clothes and bedclothes fortnightly. I would appreciate that. It might save me from having to clean up two or three messes in the morning instead of one, but that would be too easy, wouldn't it? He has to do things "my byself". I would love to bask in the warmth of my little guy in bed next to me, but the smell of urine reminds me I now have three sets of sheets to wash instead of just one at 1:00AM.
I bring up all this urine talk, because it was through this recent bed-wetting trauma that I came to find out a secret about one of my girls. This child is a heavy sleeper/sleep walker. Because of this, she had trouble with bed wetting until she was 6. We eventually stumbled onto a small alarm that would wake her if she started to wet the bed, and it worked like a charm. She started waking up to go to the bathroom at night instead of wetting her bed. If we stopped using it, however, she often regressed in about a week or so. Once, however, during one of her regressions, I was looking for the alarm and couldn't find it. I just figured I had misplaced it (like I often do) or that one of the kids had wandered off with it and that someday I might find it in the bottom of a toy box somewhere. Over time, I came to the delusion that I had probably packed it away in the original box neatly somewhere - so neatly that I had forgotten where I put it. The problem? When I went to look for it this week, I found the box but there was no alarm inside the box. Consequently, I asked her if she had any idea where it was. She said, "You know, I think I might." She proceeded to close her bedroom door. She emerged about 3 minutes later with the alarm and an armful of old, long-since soiled underwear. She said, "Yeah, I hid these a couple years back." I looked at her in disbelief and asked, "Where on earth did you hide all these?" She hesitated before answering like telling me would quite possibly ruin a perfectly good hiding place. "Under my dresser," she simply stated. There is a low lip in the bottom of her dresser - much to small for my hands to fit underneath it. It was perfect for her little hands though. She said, "I didn't want you to know I was still wetting, because I hated wearing this thing" (holding up the alarm). It surprised me how devious she was about hiding the evidence of her bed wetting.
Today, we were on our way to where my husband and dad work - at a nuclear power plant near our home. We were going on a field trip with some other home schooling families. As we were driving there, Levi said, "Mom, why is it called rain?" I replied, "I don't know. Because it is." His next question: "Why is God making it rain?" Now, he has shown keen interest in "why" questions lately. I don't remember this phase with my older children, but that, of course, doesn't mean it didn't happen. I rather suspect that it is likely they went through it, but that I was about 4 years less crotchety then than I am now. "Why is God making it rain???" My temptation is to answer these types of questions in one of four standard parental styles, "gross oversimplification", "gross over-explanation", "sarcasm", or "the deity pass". These would look something like this:
gross oversimplification: "Because he likes to water His garden."
gross over-explanation: "Because the earth is our home, and it needs water for all of its life to function properly. This happens by means of a thing called the water cycle wherein water from rivers, lakes, streams, and the ocean end up forming clouds through a process called evaporation. Can you say evaporation?... When it evaporates, it forms into clouds which range in types from stratus to cumulonimbus. Can you say, cumulonimbus? These clouds eventually become heavier and heavier and then, through a process called condensation fall as rain to the earth. Can you say condensation?"
sarcasm: "Because God thought that going to the park for you kids to run off some steam after sitting through a 90 minute lecture-style field trip to a nuclear plant would be too easy for mommy today."
the deity pass: "Because God can do what He wants, and He wants it to rain today." (It's obvious by the very form of the question that Levi has already received the deity pass about why it's raining.)
On this occasion, I chose the first option, because it was the shortest and cutest. Levi was unsatisfied and decided he had a better answer to his own question than I did. It went something like this, "Mom, God isn't making it rain. The clouds are making it rain. And God made the clouds." Well, this satisfied us both for the time being... and was, incidentally, way better than my answer.
We think things are a certain way... "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." (Proverbs 14:12, 16:25) We think things are right. We are certain. We press on in deceiving ourselves and/or others, because we find it easier than telling the truth. Our garden reminds me of this fact. We often find what I like to call "imitator" weeds growing next to the good plants in our garden. These weeds look so similar to the plants around them that I often leave them in place for a week or two in order to determine their identity for certain. (Mature plants look much different than baby plants, I'm finding.) This is also true of "Christians". I many times find it easier to take a person at their word, be it a "Christian" author or a "Christian" speaker or even a "Christian" pastor. I want to believe that if they think that's what they are, then they must be. I want to be accepting. I want to have my arms open. I want to be a sponge. But these people say they're "Christians":
Do you think they are? Some people will say it's not our place to judge them. Well, I imagine it's something more like knowing than judging. Jesus says in Matthew 7 and Matthew 12 that "you will know them by their fruit". A person's words/claims don't make him/her a Christian. Neither do their actions alone. It's only by what's inside coming to the place where it shows itself on the outside that helps me "know". In the mean time, I won't put my faith or hope in anyone but Christ. I can't hope in a preacher, an author, a dynamic speaker, or a church or movement. In addition, I'm finding that God thinks it's very important that I stay in His Word daily so that I can tell the difference between real and counterfeit "truths". There are so many "worthy" movements, causes, and people toward which I could give time, money, and energy. There are so many "plants" that grow up together and look similar for a long time. Ephesians 5 exhorts us to be "imitators of God, as dearly loved children". What better reason to want to imitate God than because He dearly loves us as children? And how can I imitate One of Whom I only hear about second-, third-, or fourth-hand but never truly seek to know at a personal level?
Today, Claire came out to my garden with me. As she was teetering precariously along the edges of my raised beds, her tan skin clad in a damp bathing suit, her blond highlights giving evidence of the carefree days of childhood summer... I was lamenting the sad state of my cucumber plants. I had originally planted a couple of them too closely together, and their root systems had joined... stunting their growth. So I separated them a few days ago. Now both sets are doing miserably. Their leaves, which had been so strong and beautiful (albeit too small) only a few days before were, today, mostly brown and whithered. Claire said to me, "Mom, are you just going to pick off those dying leaves and let the root and stem form a new set of healthy leaves?" I was dazed (as usual) and it took me a few seconds to process what she had said. As one who is new to gardening, I felt myself a little nervous to do this. Why would I remove the only sign of life these plants had? Too quickly I responded, "I'm not comfortable doing that." She asked, "Why not?" I said, "Well, I'm not sure they would grow new leaves, and I don't want to kill them altogether." She said, "Well, I think they will. You know why?" "Why?" I asked. She said, "Because when I pulled weeds with you, you told me that if I don't get the root system and stem of the weeds, they'll just grow back. So why would your cucumbers be any different? I think you should pick off the dying leaves, and they'll grow back." Well, one can hardly fight good logic like that.
Truths are universal and only found in the Author of Truth... whether it be that plants grow back from good roots or that "you will know them by their fruits" or that we should "be imitators of God". James 4:8 exhorts us, "8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." This passage reminds me not to fool myself into thinking that by following a movement I'm following God. It makes it clear to me that there are no shortcuts or wide paths to God... only through Jesus's shed blood and a long walk down a narrow (sometimes lonely) road where few follow. It also comforts me that there actually is a simple formula that is universally true when it comes to getting closer to God... I need to take off my masks... and remove the pretenses that tell me I'm "good"... then I can narrow my focus to a single mind - that of drawing near to God alone.
Some parents might complain if a toddler wakes them up to change their clothes and bedclothes fortnightly. I would appreciate that. It might save me from having to clean up two or three messes in the morning instead of one, but that would be too easy, wouldn't it? He has to do things "my byself". I would love to bask in the warmth of my little guy in bed next to me, but the smell of urine reminds me I now have three sets of sheets to wash instead of just one at 1:00AM.
I bring up all this urine talk, because it was through this recent bed-wetting trauma that I came to find out a secret about one of my girls. This child is a heavy sleeper/sleep walker. Because of this, she had trouble with bed wetting until she was 6. We eventually stumbled onto a small alarm that would wake her if she started to wet the bed, and it worked like a charm. She started waking up to go to the bathroom at night instead of wetting her bed. If we stopped using it, however, she often regressed in about a week or so. Once, however, during one of her regressions, I was looking for the alarm and couldn't find it. I just figured I had misplaced it (like I often do) or that one of the kids had wandered off with it and that someday I might find it in the bottom of a toy box somewhere. Over time, I came to the delusion that I had probably packed it away in the original box neatly somewhere - so neatly that I had forgotten where I put it. The problem? When I went to look for it this week, I found the box but there was no alarm inside the box. Consequently, I asked her if she had any idea where it was. She said, "You know, I think I might." She proceeded to close her bedroom door. She emerged about 3 minutes later with the alarm and an armful of old, long-since soiled underwear. She said, "Yeah, I hid these a couple years back." I looked at her in disbelief and asked, "Where on earth did you hide all these?" She hesitated before answering like telling me would quite possibly ruin a perfectly good hiding place. "Under my dresser," she simply stated. There is a low lip in the bottom of her dresser - much to small for my hands to fit underneath it. It was perfect for her little hands though. She said, "I didn't want you to know I was still wetting, because I hated wearing this thing" (holding up the alarm). It surprised me how devious she was about hiding the evidence of her bed wetting.
Today, we were on our way to where my husband and dad work - at a nuclear power plant near our home. We were going on a field trip with some other home schooling families. As we were driving there, Levi said, "Mom, why is it called rain?" I replied, "I don't know. Because it is." His next question: "Why is God making it rain?" Now, he has shown keen interest in "why" questions lately. I don't remember this phase with my older children, but that, of course, doesn't mean it didn't happen. I rather suspect that it is likely they went through it, but that I was about 4 years less crotchety then than I am now. "Why is God making it rain???" My temptation is to answer these types of questions in one of four standard parental styles, "gross oversimplification", "gross over-explanation", "sarcasm", or "the deity pass". These would look something like this:
gross oversimplification: "Because he likes to water His garden."
gross over-explanation: "Because the earth is our home, and it needs water for all of its life to function properly. This happens by means of a thing called the water cycle wherein water from rivers, lakes, streams, and the ocean end up forming clouds through a process called evaporation. Can you say evaporation?... When it evaporates, it forms into clouds which range in types from stratus to cumulonimbus. Can you say, cumulonimbus? These clouds eventually become heavier and heavier and then, through a process called condensation fall as rain to the earth. Can you say condensation?"
sarcasm: "Because God thought that going to the park for you kids to run off some steam after sitting through a 90 minute lecture-style field trip to a nuclear plant would be too easy for mommy today."
the deity pass: "Because God can do what He wants, and He wants it to rain today." (It's obvious by the very form of the question that Levi has already received the deity pass about why it's raining.)
On this occasion, I chose the first option, because it was the shortest and cutest. Levi was unsatisfied and decided he had a better answer to his own question than I did. It went something like this, "Mom, God isn't making it rain. The clouds are making it rain. And God made the clouds." Well, this satisfied us both for the time being... and was, incidentally, way better than my answer.
We think things are a certain way... "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." (Proverbs 14:12, 16:25) We think things are right. We are certain. We press on in deceiving ourselves and/or others, because we find it easier than telling the truth. Our garden reminds me of this fact. We often find what I like to call "imitator" weeds growing next to the good plants in our garden. These weeds look so similar to the plants around them that I often leave them in place for a week or two in order to determine their identity for certain. (Mature plants look much different than baby plants, I'm finding.) This is also true of "Christians". I many times find it easier to take a person at their word, be it a "Christian" author or a "Christian" speaker or even a "Christian" pastor. I want to believe that if they think that's what they are, then they must be. I want to be accepting. I want to have my arms open. I want to be a sponge. But these people say they're "Christians":
Do you think they are? Some people will say it's not our place to judge them. Well, I imagine it's something more like knowing than judging. Jesus says in Matthew 7 and Matthew 12 that "you will know them by their fruit". A person's words/claims don't make him/her a Christian. Neither do their actions alone. It's only by what's inside coming to the place where it shows itself on the outside that helps me "know". In the mean time, I won't put my faith or hope in anyone but Christ. I can't hope in a preacher, an author, a dynamic speaker, or a church or movement. In addition, I'm finding that God thinks it's very important that I stay in His Word daily so that I can tell the difference between real and counterfeit "truths". There are so many "worthy" movements, causes, and people toward which I could give time, money, and energy. There are so many "plants" that grow up together and look similar for a long time. Ephesians 5 exhorts us to be "imitators of God, as dearly loved children". What better reason to want to imitate God than because He dearly loves us as children? And how can I imitate One of Whom I only hear about second-, third-, or fourth-hand but never truly seek to know at a personal level?
Today, Claire came out to my garden with me. As she was teetering precariously along the edges of my raised beds, her tan skin clad in a damp bathing suit, her blond highlights giving evidence of the carefree days of childhood summer... I was lamenting the sad state of my cucumber plants. I had originally planted a couple of them too closely together, and their root systems had joined... stunting their growth. So I separated them a few days ago. Now both sets are doing miserably. Their leaves, which had been so strong and beautiful (albeit too small) only a few days before were, today, mostly brown and whithered. Claire said to me, "Mom, are you just going to pick off those dying leaves and let the root and stem form a new set of healthy leaves?" I was dazed (as usual) and it took me a few seconds to process what she had said. As one who is new to gardening, I felt myself a little nervous to do this. Why would I remove the only sign of life these plants had? Too quickly I responded, "I'm not comfortable doing that." She asked, "Why not?" I said, "Well, I'm not sure they would grow new leaves, and I don't want to kill them altogether." She said, "Well, I think they will. You know why?" "Why?" I asked. She said, "Because when I pulled weeds with you, you told me that if I don't get the root system and stem of the weeds, they'll just grow back. So why would your cucumbers be any different? I think you should pick off the dying leaves, and they'll grow back." Well, one can hardly fight good logic like that.
Truths are universal and only found in the Author of Truth... whether it be that plants grow back from good roots or that "you will know them by their fruits" or that we should "be imitators of God". James 4:8 exhorts us, "8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." This passage reminds me not to fool myself into thinking that by following a movement I'm following God. It makes it clear to me that there are no shortcuts or wide paths to God... only through Jesus's shed blood and a long walk down a narrow (sometimes lonely) road where few follow. It also comforts me that there actually is a simple formula that is universally true when it comes to getting closer to God... I need to take off my masks... and remove the pretenses that tell me I'm "good"... then I can narrow my focus to a single mind - that of drawing near to God alone.
