Disgusting, Disgustingness...

I usually make an effort to have something positive to say, but I'm not sure I'll be able to manage the perspective. Let's see...

*WARNING* If you are eating or planning to eat within the next several hours, you may want to put off reading this blog until you don't plan to be hungry for quite some time. If you are dieting, like me, you may want to bookmark this blog for help as an appetite suppressant.

Today we went to the park with some friends to play and eat some lunch. It's such a pretty day out today. (<-- positive) We brought some delicious (<-- positive) food to the park. Some of the children took off their shoes to play in the sandbox, and things were going quite nicely (<-- positive) until... The stench of poop drifted in from the west. As is the case in these scenarios, I began to try to locate the toddler with the odoriferous emanation. It happened to be Levi - but not where you would expect poop to be. No, the odor was coming from his hands -which were now (and had been) on his food. Upon further investigation, poop was also found on his pants and squished between every toe. And upon further, further investigation, it was determined that one of the slides was the source of the poop. At some point, it would seem, an adult or adult-sized person had decided (for reasons beyond my scope and comprehension) that the small slide would be a great place to relieve himself. I say "himself" with fair amount of confidence.

In panic and disgust, I searched vainly within a 1 block radius for running water... turning up zilch and knowing that I could never, in a thousand years, put him in our van this way. I looked in our diaper bag and turned up three semi-dry wipes. My friend let me use their bottled water to try to clean him as much as possible, but, as far as I was concerned at that moment, there might not be enough water in three counties to make him clean again. Fortunately, I had an extra pair of pants in the car and, pink flowers or not, he was going to wear them home.

So, yes... bad. As I was finishing up about half a bottle of hand sanitizer on Levi's entire body, I turned to see Violet - my sweet 15 month old - eating something at the bottom of the taller slide. I thought she had been eating a sandwich and because the filth was on the other slide. I had not realized that, while dealing with Levi, one of the other kids had walked through the poop and tracked a large portion of it onto the other slide. I glanced over to the sandbox where Violet's sandwich was laying and turned to see Violet climbing up onto the larger slide toward the filth. The next few moments took place in S...L...O...W... M...O...T...I...O...N. I tried to run, but it seemed my feet were glued in place. I tried to yell, but my voice was stuck in my throat. Ugh... my worst fears confirmed, and my sweet baby had it on her mouth, her hands, and her pants. No more wipes and minimal water made for a situation that defies your worst imagination. I feel the need to make up a word like "horridity". Yes, I think that fits nicely.

I doused her with water and sanitizer, undressed her, and placed her in her car seat. As I was gathering the rest of the children and our things, two of the 4 other children had the poop on their shoes and thus had to ride home without them. The ride home took what seemed an eternity, as the odor was proliferating throughout the van, and I found myself shouting things like, "Punch it, grandpa!" to the drivers around me. As soon as we entered the house all four children who had even looked in the general direction of the poop were headed toward the showers. Levi said, "I have poop, mom," and as I was trying to get the others in the tub found he needed a diaper change and had gotten his pink flower pants poopy on the inside. And as soon as I took Violet's diaper off, she peed all over the bathroom floor. That is when I used the phrase, "Is there any more disgusting disgustingness possible in this whole disgusting world??!" For the next hour, I scrubbed and washed children, clothes, and shoes - just hoping for the rapture.

I've been a parent for 9 years. I have seen all manner of nastiness from the month old milk sippy cup under the bed, to the moldy something-or-other in the back of the refrigerator, to bi-level bunk bed vomit. As I write, I have snot on my shoulder. But I tell you the truth: What I have seen today has quite possibly made me forget my own name. Post-traumatic stress syndrome has bid me good day. Today I have learned to be thankful for the 4 poopy diapers a day. (<--positive). I have a stench in my nostrils that may never leave, and I've discovered that leaving the house is entirely overrated.

I'll add more to this later - hopefully positive. :) I am smiling as I write, so please don't think I'm upset. I just wanted to sort out my thoughts. I will look back tomorrow and smile... if we don't all get the stomach flu.