My immediate, in-town family consists of two pairs of grandparents, my sister and brother-in-law and their children, and my mom's sister and her husband and children. When all together with my parents, we are a group of 23. We get together on a fairly regular basis - about once a month at least for the monthly birthday party. We also see one another at church.
My sister and I decided this week to have a family get-together before my son and I headed to California for a week. We asked the rest of the family, and they were "in". My grandma (mom's mom) said she would be the hostess. We figured potluck style was good, and that we would each bring something. We often go with a main meat dish of chicken at such a gathering. I volunteered to bring the chicken.
My grandparents are getting to an age where they are "set in their ways" about a few things. Walmart chicken is the best is apparently one of these ways. I am what you might call a chicken rookie. I like chicken. I eat chicken. I cook chicken. (Although I did have to YouTube how to cut up a fresh chicken a few months back.) I very rarely order chicken. I didn't know that it could be a necessity to order it in advance of my immediate desire/need for it. If I drive through KFC, I holler into this little, round speaker - telling them how many pieces of chicken I want, what color meat, and with what kind of breading (if any), and they say, "It'll be $.... at the window. I drive up. I give them money. They give me chicken. Everyone is happy.
My grandma told me I should get the chicken at Walmart. I said, "Okay." About 45 minutes before the gathering, I called to tell my grandma I was on my way over. I asked, "Should I order the chicken now?" She said, panic in her voice, "You should have ordered it yesterday." Uh-oh, chicken rookie mistake #1. "Can I just go ahead and call them now, do you think?" I asked, which was met with a disappointed, "They're probably out. It's too late now." Hmm?? Too late? For chicken? It was 4:30 in the afternoon. Surely this was not too late for chicken.
I asked her to give me the phone number as I didn't have it in my phone. She gave me the number for Walmart that was listed in the phone book. As I called the number, I was met with, "Automotive Department". "You couldn't by chance help me get some chicken?" (Not realizing that by the time Wal-Mart was done with me, I might as well have gone back to Automotive and asked for their help running one over.) "Ah, um... they have the wrong number listed in the phone book." Ya think? "Oh, you probably get this all the time, huh?" "Yep, you want to call the main store number at ___." Huh? Apparently Walmart can't afford a calling system that transfers calls from one department, across the store to another department. I guess the small fortune I spend at Wal-Mart each year is not accompanied by phone transfer privileges. Memorize the number and call back... which I did while driving. When I received the bakery, I gladly got a very friendly lady who transferred me (possible, as I suspected) to the Deli to a less friendly gentleman.
"Can I get about 30 pieces of chicken in about 45 minutes?" After a confused stutter, he put me on hold for an even less friendly lady.
"I got 200 pieces coming out at 6:00," she said.
"Okay, is it possible for me to get 30 pieces?" I replied.
"No."
"Mmm...kay..." (pause)
"There's only 16 under the glass. So no."
"So I should wait until 6:00 then?"
"No. I only have 200 coming out then. So no."
Not speaking Walmart speak is apparently working against me at this point, because I don't understand why the 200 pieces coming out at 6:00 is not up for grabs. No thanks to this unfriendly associate. I fought the temptation to reply, "Well, I'll bet there are 30 pieces in the meat department right now. Transfer me to them, and I'll have them bring it over to you, and you can toss it in the fryer for me." I can't help but think that had she initially responded, "Well, I had a big order for 200 pieces come in, and I just can't accommodate your needs tonight. I apologize for any inconvenience," or something along those lines, I would have felt more warm and fuzzy inside - not to mention had a MUCH shorter conversation with less confusion. As it was, I said, "Okay, thanks anyway," and hung up.
Grandma was right - I had messed up. If mom had been here, this never would have happened. And everyone would have their Wal-Mart chicken.
However, I found County Market's number, and I asked them, "Could I possibly get about 25-30 pieces of chicken in (by this time) about 30 minutes." She said, "It only takes about 15 minutes in the fryer. What time is it now?" (I guess clocks near where we're taking orders is also a limited luxury.) I said, 5:05. She said, "Sure, we can do it by 5:30." From this point on, everything went fine, and we had a nice chicken dinner - in which nobody complained for lack of Wal-Mart's dry, limited engagement, poor customer service chicken. There was even a ziploc bag of 5 pieces left over that my grandma forced on me as I was leaving. They might have even seemed to have an iridescent glow about them - almost like a chicken miracle.
Now, this isn't a Wal-Mart bashing blog. I am positive that poor customer service is not limited to Wal-Mart by any means. (Although I think they can get away with it better than just about any other retailer.) However, I began to feel a little like the sky was falling when I was unable to locate a suitable main course for our dinner without mom. On the bright side, we figured out once again that we can do things without mom if we have to, and I'm getting lessons on being a little glue-like myself. Next time I will be able to respond with confidence, "Nobody panic. I'll take care of the chicken."
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